Do not ride with a can of coke or anything without a lid in the cup holder at anything over 40mph. The "venturi" effect of the air rushing over the can makes it become a "self unloader". Dont ask me how I know. (real sticky mess[:'(])

 

The buzzing you hear in your ears after stopping from a long ride just might be the yellowjacket that is in your t-shirt pocket.The dance that follows the discovery is priceless. Dont ask me how I know.

 

Large, mid-summer grasshoppers can completely obliterate your view when they impact your faceshield at "knee dragger" speeds on decreasing radius corners in the hills....[sm=owned.gif]

 

Don't reach around to rub your wifes crotch while driving down the interstate
or you might find out what a high impact to the back of the head feels like.
Don't ask me how I know.

 

[sm=funnypostabove.gif]

 

1. When you put that new chrome a/c cover on, be sure to use some blue loctite on the screw because it's really hard to ride the Tail of the Dragon trying to keep the new chrome a/c cover on the bike with you right knee, removing it briefly so you can reach down with the right hand to turn the screw a couple of threads before the screw competely backs out and the cover falls off--barely managed to safely stop and not lose the cover.

2. When super detailing your first Harley and getting ready to go pick-up your date for your first two-up ride, do not use those automotive tire treatments that make the tires shine; the treatment also makes the sidewall very slippery and the cell phone call to the girl telling her she won't be riding today because the bike is being towed for repair is a guarantee she won't ride with you--EVER. (Fortunately, I can truthfully say this was a buddy's experience; but it prevented me from using those tire treatments.)

3. After successfully doing a tight u-turn in a parking lot on bike night, and you are sure you have impressed every biker there with you motorcycle handling skills (because 99% of them duck walk the bike to park it), be sure to put the jiffystand down before you get offthe bike to accept the props for your riding skills.

Great thread; glad it was revived--would make a great STICKY.

 

Check that you took off your disc lock when you pull away from crowded restaurants, don't ask me how I know.

 

When unloading your new Harley from the back of the pickup truck you backed down into a ditch because you didn't have a ramp, remember that when the back tirehits the slight rise on the side of the ditch and the front tire is still in the bed of the truck that it is reallyhard to reach anything solid with your feet while sitting on the bike...............Don't ask me how I know

 

Mojo,
Don't forget to wear your fingerless gloves and leather vest with the shorts.

 

I have a hard time imagining anyone riding in shorts! Or flip flops for that matter. Saw a guy take a meat bee up his shorts at 75mph. Hilarious! Not to mention the road rash when you go down. I personally like my legs & toes!!! A meat bee (wasp) down your shirt or up your sleeve is bad enough. Smoking cigars and drinking while riding? You guys are killin' me!!!!