Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean spied survivors of a sunken ship.

"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.

"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing."

And they did.

"Now we eat everybody." And they did.

When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all up first? Why did we swim around and around them?"

















His wise father replied, "Because they TASTE a lot better without all that CHIT in 'em!"

 

What a way to start my morining!

Friggin' HILARIOUS!

Beav

 

FATHER OF THE YEAR

A man boarded a plane with six kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids
yours?

"He replied, " No. I work for a condom company. These are
customer complaints. "

 

Okay, thats it! NOTE TO SELF;
NEVER,
EVER, EVER, AGAIN!
READ A NGH POST WHILE DRINKIN COFFEE, TEA, BEER, OR ANYTHING ELSE!

Tired of cleaning up messes!!!

 

Ohhhh wiz!!!! You gonna burn for that one!!!!lmaoooooo

 

That's awesome!

 

Beav

 

Makes for a good morning...thanks.

 

Rednecks have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously. You are going to die anyway, so live life


Medical Term -Redneck Definition

Artery - The study of paintings
Bacteria - Back door to cafeteria
Barium - What doctors do when patients die
Benign - What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section - A neighborhood in Rome
Cat scan - Searching for Kitty
Cauterize - Made eye contact with her
Colic - A sheep dog
Coma - A punctuation mark
Dilate - To live long
Enema - Not a friend
Fester - Quicker than someone else
Fibula - A small lie
Impotent - Distinguished, well known
Labor Pain - Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff - A Doctor's cane
Morbid - A higher offer
Nitrates - Rates of Pay for Working at Night, Normally more money than Days
Node - I knew it
Outpatient - A person who has fainted
Pelvis - Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative - A letter carrier
Recovery Room - Place to do upholstery
Rectum - Nearly killed him
Secretion - Hiding something
Seizure - Roman Emperor
Tablet - A small table
Terminal Illness - Getting sick at the airport
Tumour - One plus one more
Urine - Opposite of you're out

 

OK.... one more.


A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist.
She asked, Do you have Viagra?

Yes, he answered.

She asked, Does it work?

Yes, he answered.

Can you get it over the counter? she asked.

I can if I take two, he answered.