I remember years and years ago when the OL and I were dating I still lived with my parents and we had been playing with a can of whipped cream. Came home and there were my parents, munching away on strawberry shortcakes with whipped cream......

 

Haha, sometimes it's it's better to just let it be.

We took the OL's parents out to see the movie TED, there is a scene where the teddy bear that came to life is banging this chick in the back room. Ol's mom blurts out "He doesn't even have a *****". Gotta love old folks.

 

Out of the mouth of babes ...and old people

 

Thats some bygosh wood right there.

Explains why that other tree is in it's glory.

I did the same thing last summer. I had to make four little cuts with a chop saw 1 1/2" thin wall pipe, wont need no damm eye protection. Big mistake. You will feel fine in about four days, until then, WALK IT OFF PECKERWOOD!!!

 

Post toasties.

 

It feels great now. I looked at it and when I went after it with some tweezers I musta popped the offending piece out. The char brown spot is still there. Its not interfering with my vision. Dont think I want some Doc to mess with it now.

 

'Johnny, can you tell us what a woodcock is?'

Yes, teacher, it's a weathervane.

Very good, Johnny. Can you tell us why they use a c**k?

Yes, teacher. If they used a p****y the wind would blow through it and mess the whole thing up.

Hope that passes mod muster.

 

The copious application of asterisks only partially masks the meaning of the words and therefore may not meet the PG standard as mandated by the Supreme Higher Force.

 

I know a guy that was whacking on some metal with a chisel and big hammer without safety glasses. A chip flew up into His eye, and messed it up. He now has one eye turned out away from the other.
Years later, the big boss called Him into the office to eat His *** out about something. Midway thru, the boss screamed at the top of His lungs at Him saying, "Damn you Howard, you look at me when I'm talking to you!"
Howard snorted back at Him, and said "I am looking at you, Mr. Beasley! I am looking at you!"

They say Howard could lay flat on His back and look down a well...

They say when Harold cries, tears roll down His back...

I heard Harold is the man to have with you if you find a snake.
Harold can keep one eye on the snake, and find something to kill it with the other...

He had two kids at home, could keep one eye on each one, anywhere in the house...

I remember Hearing Him ask "Who in the hell is Monty Feldman, and how in the heck am I supposed to know Him? Is He from around here?"

Last I heard, Harold was thinking about taking up playing drums...
I bet He would be bad azz...

 

Wholesale whoring.....