A crusty old Marine Sergeant Major found himself at a gala event hosted by a local liberal arts college. There was no shortage of extremely young, idealistic ladies in attendance, one of whom approached the Sergeant Major for conversation.

“Excuse me, Sergeant Major, but you seem to be a very serious man. Is something bothering you?”

“Negative, ma’am. Just serious by nature.”

The young lady looked at his awards and decorations and said, “It looks like you have seen a lot of action.”

“Yes, ma’am, a lot of action.”

The young lady, tired of trying to start up a conversation, said, “You know, you should lighten up a little. Relax and enjoy yourself.”

The Sergeant Major just stared at her in his serious manner.

Finally the young lady said, “You know, I hope you don’t take this the wrong way, but when is the last time you got any?”

“1955, ma’am.”

“Well, there you are. You really need to chill out and quit taking everything so seriously! I mean, no nookie since 1955!”

She took his hand and led him to a private room where she proceeded to “relax” him several times.

Afterwards, panting for breath, she leaned against his bare chest and said, “Wow, you sure didn’t forget much since 1955!”

The Sergeant Major, glancing at his watch, said in his matter-of-fact voice, “I hope not, it’s 2130 now.”

 

Good one Rocky.

 

Lmao.

 

Something's wrong. People are missing. New tv didn't work out, had like a shadow on part of the screen, went to Best Buy to see what could be done (swapped it with a better one and they picked up and delivered for me). Figured this time of year stores and roads would be packed. Light traffic, store almost empty, talked motorsickles with the salesguy for half an hour, no other customers to interupt. Today - gf wanted to go to Target. What, on a weekend? It's always packed, be hard to breathe in the crowd weekend before Christmas. Light traffic, one person in the checkout line. ??? Not that I'm complaining, but what happened to all the people? Hope it stays this way, I never liked crowds.

 

I'll be stealin that one...

 

Probably shopping from their livingroom, like me!!

 

I went to my bank Friday afternoon to cash a check. Went right to the window, no line. I gave the teller the check and laid my open wallet, drivers license up, on the counter so she could see it. As she was cashing the check, I notice to my right a wallet laying on the counter out of view of the tellers. I thought, I could slip that in my pocket as I picked the wallet up....... Cha Ching!! Buttttt...... I didn't. I loudly said, someone left their wallet on the counter, and every teller in the bank looked at me as I held the wallet up to their eye level. Yep, I turned it in. They all thanked me and wished me a Merry Christmas. So I go out to the car and told my OL what I just did, and I said, I just did my good deed for the day!!

So we drove to Algood, 15 mile drive and I stop for gas. Pull up to a pump and on the other side of the pump is a nice 4WD PU. I'm pumping my gas in my 1996 old crappy car and the guy in the pick up, (kinda looked like a meth head to me, but I don't judge, most of the time), asked me to give him gas money and starts about how his Mom just got out of the hospital. I told him to f@ck off, you wanna work for it? You wanna wash my car? I aint giving you ****. I done my good deed for the day! Merry Christmas.

 

Asshats are out all over the place here.........

 

good evening. Christmas parade went well. Some of our Christmas lights overloaded our inverter. Right in the middle of the parade. Made for a memorable moment. Kids enjoyed it.

 

Morning posers, it's Saturday again.Good job Jdub.