I WISH I was a RICH anything. Some of those look legitimate, but IMO, you have a few misses on there...

If you wear a full face helmet - sometimes

If you wear a helmet - yup, sometimes, and sometimes I wear no helmet at all!

If you wear earplugs - yup, sometimes. If you have never worn earplugs, you have never ridden hundreds of miles behind bikes without baffles... or you are already deaf.

If you think any motorcycle is too loud - see above

You know you're a rich urban biker if you've ever said "Isn't it too cold/wet/hot/dry/dark to ride?" - Yes.. it IS sometimes too cold or too nasty to ride. You don't need to be a RUB to realize that.

If you put newspaper under your scoot to catch the oil drippings - instead of what? cat litter? BTW- I suspect RUBS don't have oil leaks.

When u pull in to the driveway you hit the button on the garage door opener - You have to be a rich urban biker to own a $10 remote? Or just smart enough to avoid getting off the bike, walking through the house and opening it from the inside? Or maybe only RUBS lock their garage doors?

If your jeans are clean, in fact, if any spot on you is clean - OOPS- many spots on me and my clothing are clean.

 

I like the poor jealous biker jokes better. I've worked hard to earn my good living and I've involuntarily spent time in some of the hottest and coldest places in the world. So if someone wants to call me a RUB, so be it!!! I freaking earned it!!! Thanks, y'all!!

 

first bike accessorie is a $600 dollar leather jacket with Harley written all over it, before you have even started your bike for the first time

you ask the harley salesman about "performance parts" and he shows you some aircleaners

if you think whitewalls are for old mens bikes

if you have owned a bike for moor than 5 years and theirs less than 10000 miles on it

if you have ever put boonsfarm in your saddlebags even if it was for your "wife"

if you have considered buying a sportster 883

paid for a $45000 CVO off the harley dealer floor and asked where the start button was

have ever sweated your *** off on a 95 degree day in full leathers cuz you look too cool to take them off

have ever contimplated leaving your bike at at your mother in laws house because the whine coolers are hittin ya too hard

trailored your bike to sturgis

trailored your bike to algona

trailored your bike to any motorcycle ralley

you think that Harley Davidson is the most powerful flawless machine ever built and you struggle to hold on you your stock street glide

buy a brand new bike and claim you dont want to wash it to try and give it that "Riden" look

thats all i can think of for now
UPDATE.... i see this on alot of posts, .... ALL CHAPS ARE ASSLESS, if the chaps are not assless thein their just leather pants..... i dont wear eather one, just clearing the air, havagoodday

 

^^^^I doubt too many RUB's are buying Boone's Farm.....it's twist-off.

 

What if you are a T.U.R.D.
TIGHT
UNDERPAID
REDNECK
DRESSER RIDER

PLUS YOU JUST RIDE AND LET THE ****** DO THE JUDGING & SCORE KEEPING

 

I happen to be a RUB ... Really Ugly Biker ...

 

If you think you upgraded when you got your geezer glide bagger.

 

You trade your bike in on the same model but current model year bike because you "like the new colors that came out" Now that's a "Rich" Urban Biker

 

Well I started riding as a child. First bike was kick start only cause I couldn't figure out the damn electrical system. Grew up broke so I rode that thing to hell and back. I have ridden in the rain, been caught riding when the rain changed over to snow (so now I do say it is too cold sometimes).

However since those wonderful days of devil may care riding I have worked my *** off to make my living and better my situation and I for one am not ashamed if someone calls me a RUB because yeah I may look like one at times but I know where I come from.

And besides when the two wheels are turning and the sun is shining we are all the same. We are all just happy in the wind.

 

So's a boat load of higher end wines today