Kids growing up in a house full of resentment and hate are worse off than those growing up in a single parent home. People should never stay together "because of/for the kids" Two people should only stay together if they love each other and can teach those children what that means. Otherwise they are doing the children more harm than good.

 

Another good point

 

That's pretty f'd up to ask him to ditch the bike if he had it before they even met. I hate it when one party dangles the kids in front of the other parties face to get them to do something they wouldn't want to do, especially if they were doing that "thing" when they met.

I could see her maybe asking if he would spend more time with her & kids than the club but not giving an ultimatum. See if she will compromise on keeping the bike but less time at the club(more family time). If she won't, she's looking for an out imho.

Upon reading the OP again, he states she "basically" said. If that's the case, maybe she does want to stay together but want's reasurance that he chooses her first. It's a childish way to do it but who knows, maybe she will compromise. If she won't, then one or the other will resent and it will just build.

 

I was given an ultimatum once. Either quit school or she is gone. My degree sure is nice. I wonder what ever happened to her.

 

Are you out of your itty-bitty freakin' mind? The man was in his club WAY before little miss "I'm the boss of you" came along! Yes, children change things. However, folks in clubs raise children all the time & most come out better than the "politcally correct" parents manage.

She knew who & what he was goin' in. I'm SO sick of hearing of people (male AND female) embarking on some grand plan of alteration as soon as they get clear title!

YOU grow up!

 

VERY true. I knew a guy who cheated (blatently) on his wife for over 20 years... Because they were "staying together for their daughter". I told him she knew what was going on & he wasn't doing her any favors. A couple of weeks later he moved out & she thanked him.

 

You are right of coarse but we both know if the guy is asking his close friend for advice how it's gonna play out , we're all been there one side of the that or the other .

Buddy this isn't about the " boys club " or the bike it's her running a power play game on him because she isn't feeling in control of everything period and money says it's been coming for a long time . This is one of the big steps in the control game , isolate the victim from friends and outside influences like hobbies or the bike that take them away from the controllers influence . The fact that the guy would go into depression and be resentful about it they expect that just gives the game player more material to work with in the head games department it's all part of breaking the man down to her will and women are brutal are this ploy get a clue man .

Saddest part even if the guy does lose the bike and any outside life she's still gonna leave him just a matter of when , once they have made a blubbering mess out of you now they don't respect you anymore your not a man in their eyes after they walk all over you .

 

You're right Twisty. It's the exact same game abusive men play...They're just phyisical about it. Women play the emotional game & threaten to take your kids because they know you love them & will put up with nearly anything to be with them.

 

What a lot of people don't see is once it's down to these games there is no saving the relationship the damage is done , one or the other is always going to be resentful about it from here on . Basic human nature they just won't let it go , sucks to be in the guys position right now really does .

 

You're both right of course, ( Gypsy and Twizted,) UNLESS something happened recently with the club and hubby that may have caused her to reconsider things?

Just lookin' both ways here. I can imagine of a ton of stuff that she may have just become aware of, and maybe she got really scared...Think about it...