Weight restriction for "wet t-shirt" contests
#131
10-22-2011 | 09:56 AM
Extreme HDF Member
Joined: Nov 2006
Posts: 13,389
Likes: 26
From: Windham,Maine
Well, I think that each case has to be evaluated separately.. If we're talking flank steakin' that beast with the bottle in her belly button;no, there ain't enough Viagra on the continent to achieve a dorker with that. But if we're talkin' about a rotundoid the size of say, Kirstie...no waitaminnit;that's pretty harsh. How about Winona J....no I don't trust women who dress in black alla time. OK,something like the chick in Heart--yea, I'd plow that like a Maine driveway. Dunno if I'd be able to toss the sauce, but I could always flip her over & take a drive down the Bosco Boulevard. That ALWAYS works!
Now, if you're talking about a chick with a body like Raquel but a face like Ernest Borgnine,well--after I got done heavin' my guts into her face, I might be able to lob the lotion after a few rounds of fishin' for polyps in her stool factory. After a coupla shots of everclear!
Now, if her face could make a freight train take a dirt road,there's always the hair thing. Ever see a homely woman with a really hot hairstyle? Makers a big difference, especially if she's got a great body. You could always get her to wear a wig, but if there isn't one handy, then find a mop in the garage & make her wear that. pretend it's some wild,sexy dreads while you're tryin to get the purple headed soldier to stand at attention. If you got a chicken bone handy, so much the better for gettin' a blue veiner.
Now, if you're talking about a chick with a body like Raquel but a face like Ernest Borgnine,well--after I got done heavin' my guts into her face, I might be able to lob the lotion after a few rounds of fishin' for polyps in her stool factory. After a coupla shots of everclear!
Now, if her face could make a freight train take a dirt road,there's always the hair thing. Ever see a homely woman with a really hot hairstyle? Makers a big difference, especially if she's got a great body. You could always get her to wear a wig, but if there isn't one handy, then find a mop in the garage & make her wear that. pretend it's some wild,sexy dreads while you're tryin to get the purple headed soldier to stand at attention. If you got a chicken bone handy, so much the better for gettin' a blue veiner.
#132
10-22-2011 | 03:41 PM
Road Warrior
Joined: Feb 2011
Posts: 1,499
Likes: 25
From: Mesquite,Nevada
I thought rodeo sex was you grab on and wisper in there ear there sister was better. Then you see if you can hang on for 8 seconds
#133
10-22-2011 | 06:06 PM
Road Warrior
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,979
Likes: 4
From: Central IL
Anyways, I had a helluva time staying a straddle of this gal. She thrashed around so much that MY hips ached the next morning.
#135
10-24-2011 | 02:22 PM
Ultimate HDF Member
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 6,373
Likes: 5
From: Central Texas
I've said it in here before and I'll say it again. When giving "bar night" advice to my kids (ie lower enlisted). Getting to **** a hot girl is a great thing. But if you want to get the ever lovin living **** fcked outta you, pick out a homely girl, she's an easy mark and she will screw you like she aint had none in a while. Plus it may be a while before she gets any more and is going to get as much outta it as she can while she can. I still tell em to stay away from fatties tho. I want them to come out of it with a smile, not a permanent profile.
#140
10-25-2011 | 01:56 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 19,824
Likes: 5,712
From: Florida
Are you kiddin'? Most of my friends WIVES are fatter than some of the *** dumpsters I've baptized!