Utopian Society of Bikers
#11
02-06-2011, 04:34 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
I do not care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members. Groucho Marx
US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 - 1977)
US comedian with Marx Brothers (1890 - 1977)
#12
02-06-2011, 09:19 PM
Utopian Society of Bikers Rules of the Road:
1. U.SoB Rules of the Road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the U.SoB shall be known hereafter as "Real Bikers"
3. "Real Bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The Real Biker Right of Way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any Real Biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the Right of Way violation directly affected said Real Biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "Real Bikers" of the Utopian Society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
More Utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in Utopia.
- Everything in Utopia is perfect.
- Utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- Utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- Utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a Harley.
- Utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- Utopian churches serve popcorn.
- You can be anything you want to be in Utopia (except Overlord...I got dibs)
- It never snows in Utopia. The average daytime Utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
1. U.SoB Rules of the Road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the U.SoB shall be known hereafter as "Real Bikers"
3. "Real Bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The Real Biker Right of Way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any Real Biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the Right of Way violation directly affected said Real Biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "Real Bikers" of the Utopian Society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
More Utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in Utopia.
- Everything in Utopia is perfect.
- Utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- Utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- Utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a Harley.
- Utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- Utopian churches serve popcorn.
- You can be anything you want to be in Utopia (except Overlord...I got dibs)
- It never snows in Utopia. The average daytime Utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
#13
02-06-2011, 09:36 PM
Ultimate HDF Member
#14
02-07-2011, 01:25 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
Utopian Society of Bikers Rules of the Road:
1. U.SoB Rules of the Road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the U.SoB shall be known hereafter as "Real Bikers"
3. "Real Bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The Real Biker Right of Way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any Real Biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the Right of Way violation directly affected said Real Biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "Real Bikers" of the Utopian Society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
More Utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in Utopia.
- Everything in Utopia is perfect.
- Utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- Utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- Utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a Harley.
- Utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- Utopian churches serve popcorn.
- You can be anything you want to be in Utopia (except Overlord...I got dibs)
- It never snows in Utopia. The average daytime Utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
1. U.SoB Rules of the Road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the U.SoB shall be known hereafter as "Real Bikers"
3. "Real Bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The Real Biker Right of Way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any Real Biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the Right of Way violation directly affected said Real Biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "Real Bikers" of the Utopian Society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
More Utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in Utopia.
- Everything in Utopia is perfect.
- Utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- Utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- Utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a Harley.
- Utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- Utopian churches serve popcorn.
- You can be anything you want to be in Utopia (except Overlord...I got dibs)
- It never snows in Utopia. The average daytime Utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
#15
02-07-2011, 03:54 PM
Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Denham Springs
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utopian society of bikers rules of the road:
1. U.sob rules of the road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the u.sob shall be known hereafter as "real bikers"
3. "real bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The real biker right of way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any real biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the right of way violation directly affected said real biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "real bikers" of the utopian society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
more utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in utopia.
- everything in utopia is perfect.
- utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a harley.
- utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- utopian churches serve popcorn.
- you can be anything you want to be in utopia (except overlord...i got dibs)
- it never snows in utopia. The average daytime utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
1. U.sob rules of the road shall supercede all local, state and federal law.
2. Subjugates of the u.sob shall be known hereafter as "real bikers"
3. "real bikers" shall have right-of-way over all other known traffic, whether it be motorized, ballistic, or wind-driven. The real biker right of way shall have the effect of law, and enforcement should be immediate and punitive. Any real biker may enforce this provision, regardless of whether the right of way violation directly affected said real biker, or was merely witnessed from a distance. Suggested corrective actions include, but are not limited to, shooting. Leniency in the form of light pistol-whipping may be shown to spouse, offspring, and immediate family.
2. "real bikers" of the utopian society are authorized to terminate the life forces of any non-subjugate who publicly questions their choice of scoot.
----------------
more utopian laws to come. Meanwhile, remember these few fun facts about life in utopia.
- everything in utopia is perfect.
- utopian women are physically perfect, flirty and willing.
- utopian men are all bronzed, blond, and brave.
- utopian children are studious, obedient, and can change the oil on a harley.
- utopian beer is free, even to prisoners (although they get 3.2).
- utopian churches serve popcorn.
- you can be anything you want to be in utopia (except overlord...i got dibs)
- it never snows in utopia. The average daytime utopian temperature is 78 degrees.
#17
02-07-2011, 03:57 PM
Cruiser
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Denham Springs
Posts: 173
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You'd have to check with the "overlord" for the nearest recruitment office. I think there's one here with the sign "National Guard" on the front door.
#20
02-12-2011, 09:06 PM
I might accept the concept of a national flag patch, but it would be despotic to subjugates to wear the patch of a central national MC. That practice would inevitably lead to the banning of all non-nationalized MCs. In a Utopian society, bikers should feel free to join any biker club that would have them.
One idea that has seen some interest is the creation of a non-exclusive club that anyone can belong to, catching all those who fail to meet the high standards of private clubs, yet still need to belong to a social circle. Some naysayers have called this plan "Ol'BikerCare". The loudest of these anti-Utopian objectors decry the expense of supporting and administering a welfare gang of bikers, selfishly pointing at the payments they must make just to own a 2011 Ultra.
As Overlord, I have felt the pain of the neediest of the needy, those who roll on old Honda 50s and mopeds, too poor to afford a decent vest, much less an attractive and intimidating 3-piece patch. It is time to step in and offer immediate and meaningful biker club reform.
Naturally, some cost must be expected - even in Utopia. It has been calculated that the expense of outfitting new prospects could easily be absorbed by simply elevating the involuntary contributions made by those who can most easily afford it - specifically, owners of new and lightly used Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Not a tax (as taxes are forbidden in Utopia), but a surcharge on Harley-Davidson brand oil and spark plugs. In the furtherance of safety and global climate control, I am decreeing that the use of non-dealer services for routine maintenance be immediately outlawed. Small monetary incentives will be offered to observant non-Harley bikers who inform the Utopian Office of Loyalty of any infractions committed by their neighbors, siblings, parents, or grandparents.
Furthermore, all subjugates of the Utopian Society of Bikers will be expected to pay club dues, indirectly through a small surcharge on existing private club dues. Of course, you may continue to participate in your own club's activities, but by spreading the wealth around through the general obligatory patch fund contributions, everyone can benefit from the fact that there is a motorcycle club that you will automatically belong to, even if your own club goes broke, or is disbanded by the military.
Wanting to keep a familiar "look and feel" to the general Utopian motorbike club, my blue-ribbon panel of experts has recommended the adoption of commonly recognized club organizational plans, like those of the Mongols, Bandidos, and Girl Scouts.
Recognizing that some groups might be sensitive to some of the recreational activities offered by private clubs, such as nude riding, mescaline parties, group sex, and gang warfare, the planning commission has developed what I am sure will be the motorcycle club of the future. Here is an example of progress through psychological engineering, an emerging science similar to urban planning but focusing on forgetting dirty thoughts instead of forgetting about waste disposal.
In recognition of the sure and certain benefits that will accrue, I have proactively ordered the adoption of the planning committee's recommendations, including the following modern and progressive concepts:
- The Utopian national club name will be "The Pretty Girl's MC".
- The term "Hang Around" will not be used, as it brings up images of lynching. Subjugates who are waiting to decide whether to join the national mandatory club will be known simply as "New Girls". In the spirit of good sportsmanship, New Girls must endure and tolerate heartless nose throws whenever they exceed their status (for example, by trying to eat lunch at the same table as fully patched Pretty Girls).
- In keeping with the gentler semantic concepts, prospects shall be known as "Debutantes", or more simply as "Debs". They are responsible for all club fundraising activities, theme parties, social arrangements and sanctioned killings.
- The club logo is still being developed, but you will be pleased to know that the planning board is using "Hello, Kitty" for inspiration.
- The upper rocker will say simply "Pretty Girls MC", embroidered in pink, a color proven by psychologists and social scientists as predisposing the onlooker to feelings of calm, acquiescence, and loyalty to Utopia.
- The lower rocker will indicate the local or national affiliation. Members in good standing without such affiliation would ordinarily be known as "Nomads". However, due to intensive lobbying by the Arab Anti-Defamation League, such roaming members will wear a bottom rocker that says "****".
Your Utopian Overlord has spoken.
One idea that has seen some interest is the creation of a non-exclusive club that anyone can belong to, catching all those who fail to meet the high standards of private clubs, yet still need to belong to a social circle. Some naysayers have called this plan "Ol'BikerCare". The loudest of these anti-Utopian objectors decry the expense of supporting and administering a welfare gang of bikers, selfishly pointing at the payments they must make just to own a 2011 Ultra.
As Overlord, I have felt the pain of the neediest of the needy, those who roll on old Honda 50s and mopeds, too poor to afford a decent vest, much less an attractive and intimidating 3-piece patch. It is time to step in and offer immediate and meaningful biker club reform.
Naturally, some cost must be expected - even in Utopia. It has been calculated that the expense of outfitting new prospects could easily be absorbed by simply elevating the involuntary contributions made by those who can most easily afford it - specifically, owners of new and lightly used Harley-Davidson motorcycles. Not a tax (as taxes are forbidden in Utopia), but a surcharge on Harley-Davidson brand oil and spark plugs. In the furtherance of safety and global climate control, I am decreeing that the use of non-dealer services for routine maintenance be immediately outlawed. Small monetary incentives will be offered to observant non-Harley bikers who inform the Utopian Office of Loyalty of any infractions committed by their neighbors, siblings, parents, or grandparents.
Furthermore, all subjugates of the Utopian Society of Bikers will be expected to pay club dues, indirectly through a small surcharge on existing private club dues. Of course, you may continue to participate in your own club's activities, but by spreading the wealth around through the general obligatory patch fund contributions, everyone can benefit from the fact that there is a motorcycle club that you will automatically belong to, even if your own club goes broke, or is disbanded by the military.
Wanting to keep a familiar "look and feel" to the general Utopian motorbike club, my blue-ribbon panel of experts has recommended the adoption of commonly recognized club organizational plans, like those of the Mongols, Bandidos, and Girl Scouts.
Recognizing that some groups might be sensitive to some of the recreational activities offered by private clubs, such as nude riding, mescaline parties, group sex, and gang warfare, the planning commission has developed what I am sure will be the motorcycle club of the future. Here is an example of progress through psychological engineering, an emerging science similar to urban planning but focusing on forgetting dirty thoughts instead of forgetting about waste disposal.
In recognition of the sure and certain benefits that will accrue, I have proactively ordered the adoption of the planning committee's recommendations, including the following modern and progressive concepts:
- The Utopian national club name will be "The Pretty Girl's MC".
- The term "Hang Around" will not be used, as it brings up images of lynching. Subjugates who are waiting to decide whether to join the national mandatory club will be known simply as "New Girls". In the spirit of good sportsmanship, New Girls must endure and tolerate heartless nose throws whenever they exceed their status (for example, by trying to eat lunch at the same table as fully patched Pretty Girls).
- In keeping with the gentler semantic concepts, prospects shall be known as "Debutantes", or more simply as "Debs". They are responsible for all club fundraising activities, theme parties, social arrangements and sanctioned killings.
- The club logo is still being developed, but you will be pleased to know that the planning board is using "Hello, Kitty" for inspiration.
- The upper rocker will say simply "Pretty Girls MC", embroidered in pink, a color proven by psychologists and social scientists as predisposing the onlooker to feelings of calm, acquiescence, and loyalty to Utopia.
- The lower rocker will indicate the local or national affiliation. Members in good standing without such affiliation would ordinarily be known as "Nomads". However, due to intensive lobbying by the Arab Anti-Defamation League, such roaming members will wear a bottom rocker that says "****".
Your Utopian Overlord has spoken.
Last edited by Roosterboots; 02-12-2011 at 09:10 PM.