So, Miz Roo and meself were discussing matters of great import over breakfast at the Huddle House this morning, and as usual, the topic of conversation settled on zombies. Today, many questions went unanswered, such as:

1. Do zombies hate posers, or is it a simple autonomic response to the presence of food? Miz Roo said they hated posers 'cause zombie posers try too hard to lurch like a "real" zombie, and that whole "head twist and drool" thing is a challenge most posers can't meet. I said that they hated posers out of pure frustration, often lurching a city block or more for a fresh meal of warm brains...only to find disappointment when they opened up the skull and found a poser.

2. We know zombies can run and climb fences, so it naturally follows that they must be able to drive (well, some of them). The question was put forward that if a zombie found a Harley with the keys in it, fired it up and drove off in search of its next meal, what kind of Harley would it be? Miz Roo said that zombies can't drive anything more complicated than a Hondamatic, but I disagreed. Indeed, anyone familiar with the movements of zombie "monster hands" will immediately recognize the throttle, clutch and shift patterns of a Vespa 150. It's as though some cosmic force reanimated those poor dead souls for a scooter ride through the shopping district.

3. On a serious note, Miz Roo pointed out certain similarities between a zombie and a grandmother doting on her grandbaby, but then our omelets came and we forgot the point. Anyone out there in HDF-land is invited to restart this topic of conversation if it sounds familiar.

4. Our waitress was a zombie, but she was well-behaved and didn't screw up the order so we didn't shoot her. We didn't tip her, either. Was that wrong? Do zombies miss tips?

Roo!