Forget the Harley Lifestyle...I Want the RUB Lifestyle!
#1
12-19-2010, 01:00 PM
Forget the Harley Lifestyle...I Want the RUB Lifestyle!
Ten reasons to be a RUB instead of a biker...
1. Really, really GOOD boots.
2. A paycheck
3. RUB women bathe
4. When it's raining, you don't have to ride.
5. When it's too cold, you don't have to ride.
6. When it's too hot, you don't have to ride.
7. You can afford to fly to Sturgis.
8. At the dealerships, the salesmen call you "sir" and bring you coffee.
9. New Harleys for Christmas...and Easter...and Arbor Day...
10. Even if you don't act like it, you are really, truly superior to impoverished bikers and rich urban non-bikers alike, and best of all, yer poop is without aroma.
(There! That ought to **** everybody off!)
1. Really, really GOOD boots.
2. A paycheck
3. RUB women bathe
4. When it's raining, you don't have to ride.
5. When it's too cold, you don't have to ride.
6. When it's too hot, you don't have to ride.
7. You can afford to fly to Sturgis.
8. At the dealerships, the salesmen call you "sir" and bring you coffee.
9. New Harleys for Christmas...and Easter...and Arbor Day...
10. Even if you don't act like it, you are really, truly superior to impoverished bikers and rich urban non-bikers alike, and best of all, yer poop is without aroma.
(There! That ought to **** everybody off!)
#3
12-19-2010, 01:24 PM
Back in the 80s when I was asked:
Are you a biker?
NO, I like to take a shower everyday, besides, I don't have a felony record.
Who are your known associates?
Ummm gas station attendants, barmaids and police <not by choice>
Now in the 2010s when asked:
Are you a biker?
NO, I never went to college and I don't know a stockbroker.
Who are your known associates?
Convenience store clerks, licensed mixologist and police <by choice, so I can get an escort through town for my latest toy run, poker run or parade>
Times they change, so does my hair color..... or is that lack there of.
Are you a biker?
NO, I like to take a shower everyday, besides, I don't have a felony record.
Who are your known associates?
Ummm gas station attendants, barmaids and police <not by choice>
Now in the 2010s when asked:
Are you a biker?
NO, I never went to college and I don't know a stockbroker.
Who are your known associates?
Convenience store clerks, licensed mixologist and police <by choice, so I can get an escort through town for my latest toy run, poker run or parade>
Times they change, so does my hair color..... or is that lack there of.
#5
12-19-2010, 01:44 PM
Funny you mention RUB. I only found out what a RUB was about three weeks ago. I have been riding for a few years. I was at a stop light in Cardiff beach. This old school biker pulls alongside me and we look over at each other.
Here was a guy with a gray beard down to his belly, skid lid, with a cigar in his mouth. Big skull and dragon rings on each finger, no gloves, leather vest, torn T-shirt and jeans. His boots were all worn out and had holes in them. His scooter hardly idled. Must have been a late 70s to early 80s Softtail. Had only been washed once… smelt like burnt oil and was the loudest bike I have ever heard.
I was sitting on my new Ultra Classic, which I had spent eight hours detailing and polishing before I pulled my scooter out to ride, my wife and I with our full face helmets, brand new FXRG jackets and gloves. I spent more on chrome than he had spent on his entire scooter.
So I look over, raise my visor and say, “Hey brotha, great day for a ride.” The old biker burnt a hole through my head and said, “Effing RUB.” Put it in gear and ran the red light.
My wife asked me over the intercom, “What’s a RUB.” I told her, I don't know, we will Google it when we get to the restaurant. Boy was I surprised he had insulted us for no reason… the nerve of some people….
Here was a guy with a gray beard down to his belly, skid lid, with a cigar in his mouth. Big skull and dragon rings on each finger, no gloves, leather vest, torn T-shirt and jeans. His boots were all worn out and had holes in them. His scooter hardly idled. Must have been a late 70s to early 80s Softtail. Had only been washed once… smelt like burnt oil and was the loudest bike I have ever heard.
I was sitting on my new Ultra Classic, which I had spent eight hours detailing and polishing before I pulled my scooter out to ride, my wife and I with our full face helmets, brand new FXRG jackets and gloves. I spent more on chrome than he had spent on his entire scooter.
So I look over, raise my visor and say, “Hey brotha, great day for a ride.” The old biker burnt a hole through my head and said, “Effing RUB.” Put it in gear and ran the red light.
My wife asked me over the intercom, “What’s a RUB.” I told her, I don't know, we will Google it when we get to the restaurant. Boy was I surprised he had insulted us for no reason… the nerve of some people….
Last edited by HOG_0308; 12-19-2010 at 01:47 PM.
#7
12-19-2010, 01:51 PM
Join Date: Dec 2009
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#8
12-19-2010, 01:52 PM
May be a RUB but had to raise and educate my kids, get the wife a master's survive the Carter admin and Clinton. Now I can afford a toy or two. If that makes me a RUB I guess I like that mo****r. Never too late for some fun on the scoot. Hope to travel to the here after on the bike instead of the bed.
#9
12-19-2010, 01:58 PM
Must have been a late 70s to early 80s Softtail.
LOL, if you ain't laughing at that you are a RUB
LOL, if you ain't laughing at that you are a RUB
#10
12-19-2010, 02:51 PM
Club Member
About the only softtail I saw during those years was my ex-wifes somewhat TOO LARGE behind .
