Originally Posted by dickey

I usually don't have to bust a loaf after a ride, but one time I actually threw a butt sausage while ON my bike--Was around '76--over at my cute little hippy girlfriend's house. I felt the familiar calling,and because her bathroom was right near the couch where we were watching TV & having our nightly grope session, I didn't want to go right there 'cause there may have been some bubbling & splashing involved, not to mention a barrage of wet FLATULENCE & the foetid stench of a pizza induced bacteria mousse. So I said I was tired, jumped on my '72 Triumph Tiger,and headed for home;about 6 miles. Was really practicing sphincter control well until the last mile (did you know the urgency of the loafing was directly proportional to your distance from home?) Knowing that if I let my attention wander I was gonna be the unproud executor of a red pepper festooned crappe frappe. Came roarin' down my block, but alas, I could not hold back the brown bear any longer, and voided my bowels right there on the bike. Was actually just sitting & enjoying the disgusting,yet strangely satisfying warmth, when the liquidoot ran out my pants leg & hit the exhaust pipe, where it baked & fried like some disgusting gravy from hell. Walked bowlegged into the house, vowing never again to eat an entire pizza before goin' on a booty call. It was a Close Encounter of the TURD kind!