Thanks, all. Th' Roo is bein' a VERY good patient. Doin' PT, givin' hisself Lovenox shots in the belly (I git a mint for each one), takin' my meds. Th' hard part is keepin' the promise that I wouldn't be my natchral, lovable, arrogrant self.

To help me in that regard, Magna Home Health has assigned their special All-Hen Staff of three female nurses and one female PT tech. They hold daily meetings of The Sisterhood with Miz Roo and have convinced me that the last thing I want is to tick off five women at the same time. Oh, and they're all biker wannabe's and reasonably attractive, makin' it real hard to keep a straight face when they're doin' stuff like teachin' Miz Roo to change the TED hose ("It's just like putting him into pantyhose, dear...use your fingers to smooth out stockings, just like this...").

I can eat whatever I want, and Miz Roo is keepin' me stocked with Little Debbie Creme Filled Chocolate Cupcakes. I get a sponge batch every other day and get to listen to the sweet refrains of "Oh...you're lookin' SO GOOD" cood by Miz Roo, over and over (yeah, I know I'm takin' it outa context, but lemme dream...lemme dream).

I'm doing the stairs on crutches, now. My staples come out tomorrow. My leg hurts like hell from PT and I'm outa Lortab. My cat has taken it upon hisself to act as my personal living adduction pillow. I'm practicing gettin' in and outa the van. On days when I'm really, really good, I get to hobble out to the garage and fire up Stray Dog.

I still gotta use what they call the "bedside commode," but believe me if you use that sucker in the bedroom you're married life will become a distant memory. It's bad enough to have to use it in the bathroom...kinda like takin' a poop off the Tower of Pisa, 'cept ya hafta hit this little bitty target and it hurts to sit down.

Two weeks down, eleven weeks to go. The target date for my first ride is 2/15/2010. We're gonna get a small group together and ride from Union to Lousiville (MS), and get some cajun catfish at a local B&B. It'll be cold outside. It'll be happy inside.