BAH HAHAHAHAHAHA. Hillarious !
Greg

 

Wow. I'd have never guessed it but I tried it on my coffee table. Thanks everyone. This forum is AWESOME! Do they sell S100 by the gallon?

 

someone has a lot of free time ... Ive never owned furniture.. What do you use on old beer kegs ?

 

I am disappointed with the amount of smart azz answers provided on this forum. The OP is clearly dealing with some serious issues at home. His wife is most likely in his case, so lighten up.
Oh, Whatever you do, Don't apply Lemon Pledge to wood with a Sham Wow. Don't ask me how I know.

 

Ill bet you have a SLAP CHOP too... Vince said it ... (your gonna love my nuts )

 

What ever you do, do not slap your nuts on the wood table....

 

Metal polish (like Brasso) and 0000 steel wool, to get them shiny. Then use Lemon Pledge to keep them that way.

 

Lemon Pledge is junk, this is a product that should have died 20 years ago. I do furniture repair for a living these days and this product causes more problems than it cures and I can't believe anyone would use this crap on a $18,000 bike.
Use a microfiber cloth to get the dust off your table and use Mother's Showtime on your bike.
Throw that can of Pledge in the trash!!

 

Everybody knows you gotta get those stock Dunlops off your coffee table. They would barely last till you got it into the next room. I recomend Chin-Shook brand for your application with the Gangsta Whitewall but thats only if you had oatmeal for breakfast or rode the bus for lunch. Be sure they are in stock before you water your garden of Eden with your new slippers or such not as you see fit.

 

I sure hope it's ok to wear my a$$less chaps and fingerless gloves when I'm polishing my wood. (Did I say that out loud?)