You might be a REDNECK if:
#66
BWAHAHAA! I can relate...have a cousin down in 'Bama that has 'bout five dogs under his front porch...well, till one of 'em pops out a litter...then it's ten or more till the pups are all gone...but, his porch hasn't collapsed yet, so I guess he's not really a redneck, aye.
#68
APPLICATION TO LIVE IN ARKANSAS
Name:_____________________________________________ ________________
Nickname: ___________________________
CB Handle: __________________________
Address: (RFD)_____________________________________________ ________
Daddy (If unknown list three suspects)_________________________________________ __________________
Neck Shade: [ ] Light Red [ ] Medium Red [ ] Dark Red [ ] Other _____________
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: _______ Upper: _______ Lower: _______
Make of Pickup: __________________________ Size of Tire: ______________
Hounds: _______ Type: [ ] Blue Tick [ ] Beagle [ ] Black/Tan [ ] Other _________
Length of Right Leg: ___________ Length of Left Leg: __________________
How many cars/makes in front yard: ____________ On blocks: ___________
How many kitchen appliances on front porch: __________ Back porch: ________
When and where was your last Elvis sighting: ___________________________
Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Do you own any shoes (not boots): [ ] Yes [ ] No
Are you married to any of the following:
[ ] Sister [ ] Cousin [ ] Cousin's Sister [ ] Aunt [ ] Other (explain)______________
Does your wife weigh more than your truck? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Can you always sign your name and spell it right? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Have you ever had more than one bath in a week: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Explain: __________________________________________________ __
MEDICAL INFORMATION Do you have at least two (2) of the following: [ ] B.O. [ ] Crabs [ ]Lice [ ] Bad breath [ ] Scabs [ ] Fleas [ ] Tattoos [ ] Crossed Eyes [ ] Runny Nose [ ] Green Teeth [ ] Brown Teeth [ ] Yellow Teeth [ ] Any teeth Explain: ____________________________________________
GENERAL INFORMATION Can you count past ten with your shoes on: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Con you count past 21 with your fly up: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Favorite Weapon: [ ] Tire Iron [ ] Log Chain [ ] Shotgun [ ]
Pick Favorite Past Time: [ ] Drinkin’ [ ] Coon huntin’ [ ] Fishin’ [ ] Other: __________
Trucks equipped with: [ ] Gun Rack [ ] Fuzzbuster [ ] 8-Track [ ] Rebel Flag [ ] Roll Bar [ ] CB Radio [ ] Beer Cans [ ] Squirrel Tail
Your signature (an X will do):_______________________________________
Name:_____________________________________________ ________________
Nickname: ___________________________
CB Handle: __________________________
Address: (RFD)_____________________________________________ ________
Daddy (If unknown list three suspects)_________________________________________ __________________
Neck Shade: [ ] Light Red [ ] Medium Red [ ] Dark Red [ ] Other _____________
Number of teeth exposed in full grin: _______ Upper: _______ Lower: _______
Make of Pickup: __________________________ Size of Tire: ______________
Hounds: _______ Type: [ ] Blue Tick [ ] Beagle [ ] Black/Tan [ ] Other _________
Length of Right Leg: ___________ Length of Left Leg: __________________
How many cars/makes in front yard: ____________ On blocks: ___________
How many kitchen appliances on front porch: __________ Back porch: ________
When and where was your last Elvis sighting: ___________________________
Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Do you own any shoes (not boots): [ ] Yes [ ] No
Are you married to any of the following:
[ ] Sister [ ] Cousin [ ] Cousin's Sister [ ] Aunt [ ] Other (explain)______________
Does your wife weigh more than your truck? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Can you always sign your name and spell it right? [ ] Yes [ ] No
Have you ever had more than one bath in a week: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Explain: __________________________________________________ __
MEDICAL INFORMATION Do you have at least two (2) of the following: [ ] B.O. [ ] Crabs [ ]Lice [ ] Bad breath [ ] Scabs [ ] Fleas [ ] Tattoos [ ] Crossed Eyes [ ] Runny Nose [ ] Green Teeth [ ] Brown Teeth [ ] Yellow Teeth [ ] Any teeth Explain: ____________________________________________
GENERAL INFORMATION Can you count past ten with your shoes on: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Con you count past 21 with your fly up: [ ] Yes [ ] No
Favorite Weapon: [ ] Tire Iron [ ] Log Chain [ ] Shotgun [ ]
Pick Favorite Past Time: [ ] Drinkin’ [ ] Coon huntin’ [ ] Fishin’ [ ] Other: __________
Trucks equipped with: [ ] Gun Rack [ ] Fuzzbuster [ ] 8-Track [ ] Rebel Flag [ ] Roll Bar [ ] CB Radio [ ] Beer Cans [ ] Squirrel Tail
Your signature (an X will do):_______________________________________
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