Larry the Cable guy is a classically trained actor from England and he's a socialist....tats rite yuve al bin lyed 2.

 

Ahhh yes , redneck women .

http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fu...eoid=575224939

 

Metolius....
U should check ur info on Daniel Whitney..aka Larry the Cable Guy. Born Feb 17th 1963. Pawnee City, Nebraska

 

Went through every post and suprised no one posted my favorite... If your Front Porch collapses and kills 3 dogs .. You might be a Redneck..

 

If u cut ur grass and find a car! Yes i have done this one...lol

 

BWAHAHAA! I can relate...have a cousin down in 'Bama that has 'bout five dogs under his front porch...well, till one of 'em pops out a litter...then it's ten or more till the pups are all gone...but, his porch hasn't collapsed yet, so I guess he's not really a redneck, aye.

 

if your dog is the first cycle of your dish washer. We actually came up with that one during poker night, the damn dog was lickin' the dirty plates.

 

APPLICATION TO LIVE IN ARKANSAS
Name:_____________________________________________ ________________

Nickname: ___________________________

CB Handle: __________________________

Address: (RFD)_____________________________________________ ________

Daddy (If unknown list three suspects)_________________________________________ __________________

Neck Shade: [ ] Light Red [ ] Medium Red [ ] Dark Red [ ] Other _____________

Number of teeth exposed in full grin: _______ Upper: _______ Lower: _______

Make of Pickup: __________________________ Size of Tire: ______________

Hounds: _______ Type: [ ] Blue Tick [ ] Beagle [ ] Black/Tan [ ] Other _________

Length of Right Leg: ___________ Length of Left Leg: __________________

How many cars/makes in front yard: ____________ On blocks: ___________

How many kitchen appliances on front porch: __________ Back porch: ________

When and where was your last Elvis sighting: ___________________________

Do you wear mostly polyester pants with snags: [ ] Yes [ ] No

Do you own any shoes (not boots): [ ] Yes [ ] No

Are you married to any of the following:

[ ] Sister [ ] Cousin [ ] Cousin's Sister [ ] Aunt [ ] Other (explain)______________

Does your wife weigh more than your truck? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Can you always sign your name and spell it right? [ ] Yes [ ] No

Have you ever had more than one bath in a week: [ ] Yes [ ] No

Explain: __________________________________________________ __

MEDICAL INFORMATION Do you have at least two (2) of the following: [ ] B.O. [ ] Crabs [ ]Lice [ ] Bad breath [ ] Scabs [ ] Fleas [ ] Tattoos [ ] Crossed Eyes [ ] Runny Nose [ ] Green Teeth [ ] Brown Teeth [ ] Yellow Teeth [ ] Any teeth Explain: ____________________________________________

GENERAL INFORMATION Can you count past ten with your shoes on: [ ] Yes [ ] No

Con you count past 21 with your fly up: [ ] Yes [ ] No

Favorite Weapon: [ ] Tire Iron [ ] Log Chain [ ] Shotgun [ ]

Pick Favorite Past Time: [ ] Drinkin’ [ ] Coon huntin’ [ ] Fishin’ [ ] Other: __________

Trucks equipped with: [ ] Gun Rack [ ] Fuzzbuster [ ] 8-Track [ ] Rebel Flag [ ] Roll Bar [ ] CB Radio [ ] Beer Cans [ ] Squirrel Tail

Your signature (an X will do):_______________________________________

 

"The Governor" LOL!! Best. Name. EVAR.