How is yer ol' lady like an early model Harley?






After a long hard ride, they both leak for about 15 minutes

 

Arguin' with yer ol' lady is like wrestling with a pig in a mud hole.



After a while you realize the pig enjoys it.

 

A neighborhood had a problem with stray dogs sh!ting in everybodys yards.
Every afternoon all the guys would go out and pick up the poop, except one guy.
He went out with an eye droper and squeezed some kind of liquid on each terd and the next morning they were miraculously gone.
One day one of his neighbors asked him what that liquid was that made the dog **** dissapear.
The man replied,





"bacon grease".

 

The cowboy rode into town on friday, stayed 3 days, and left town on friday.

How is that possible you ask?

(see next post)

 

His horses name was friday.

 

When the bikers 7 year old daughter came asking questions about the facts of life, her mother carefully explained how babies were made.
For several days afterward, the child went over this fascinating new information with her mother.
"So the sperm from daddy fertilizes the egg from mommy, and the baby is carried in mommies tummy?" the little girl asked.
"That's right honey."
"But how does the sperm get there?" she asked. "Does mommy swallow it?"
"If mommy wants a new set of riding leathers she does," said her mother.

 

Whats a Hoover vacuum cleaner and a Harley have in common?

They both have dirt bags on them!

"Willie Nelson"

 

The only man that ever got all his work done by Friday was Robinson Caruso!

 

Screwed By Nuns

"I was riding my Harley when I saw a sign by the road that said [Sisters of St. Mary's Convent, 10 miles, get screwed for only $ 50.], I thought, nahh must be a joke.

A little further, there was another sign, [Sisters of St. Mary's Convent, next exit, follow signs & get screwed for only $50]. Well I thought I gotta check this out, so I took the exit & followed the signs. Pulling into the parking lot I saw only a couple of other bikes. I went up & knocked on the door, a nun actually answered.

I said, "um, I saw the signs by the road." "Oh" she smiled, "Come on in." So I did, then she said, "You want to go down that hall on the right & then knock on the second door", so I did, (knock).

A half dressed nun with the greatest body I've ever seen on a sister answered, & smiled, she said "I'm just getting finished so just put the $50 in the jar on the dresser & go through that door at the end of the room, & wait a sec" She winks, & points to the door, & then saunters out wigglin' one hell of a nice ***.

I put my money in the jar, & went out the door. To my surprise, I found myself back in the parking lot. I thought this must be a mistake, & turned back to the door. There was a sign that read, "YOU've just been screwed for $50 by the Sisters of St. Mary's, Sinner"