TOAK, The Thread of All Knowledge Part XIII
#5521
12-24-2018, 05:31 AM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: On a hill among the hills, PA
Posts: 112,202
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#5522
12-24-2018, 06:03 AM
Mornin', Woods, Woodettes and lurkers. Busy day ahead....changing the skirting on the trailer but first I gotta go into town and buy shoes for Tammy Sue, danged girl done got herself knocked up again. I don't know how she will ever get out of junior high school if she keeps geetin' pregnant.
#5523
12-24-2018, 06:23 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
#5525
12-24-2018, 06:27 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the park
No one had paid their light bill, and all the trailers were dark
Me in my flannel, and my Molly Hatchet cap
Had just finished a pizza, and was ready to nap
No one had paid their light bill, and all the trailers were dark
Me in my flannel, and my Molly Hatchet cap
Had just finished a pizza, and was ready to nap
#5526
12-24-2018, 06:27 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
#5528
12-24-2018, 06:34 AM
Mornin, Al. A poster in another thread made the assumption everyone in Oklahoma lives in a trailer. Boy is he wrong, not everyone in this state has that kind of money.
#5529
12-24-2018, 06:38 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
This is something I started as a joke way back in 1999 or so.
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the park
No one had paid their light bill, and all the trailers were dark
Me in my flannel, and my Molly Hatchet cap
Had just finished a pizza, and was ready to nap
Mom was on parole, and drunk as Cooter Brown
I figured I would leave for a bit, to let her calm down
I went to the Jiffy, for some last minute gifts
Potted meat, tuna & Phillies blunts for spliffs
On my way back home, I saw a kid throwing rocks
At a 57 Dodge truck, which was sitting on blocks
I flashed him a smile, and walked down to my row
And wondered if this Christmas, we would get snow
I got back to my trailer, and paid my light bill by phone
5 minutes later, the Christmas lights came on
The lights on the porch, and the ones in the tree
Had been hanging there since 1993
I heard a knock on the door, and yelled "Who is it?"
The neighbors saw my lights, and had come over to visit
They brought Mac N Cheese, wings and PBR beer
We sang carols, lit farts, and shared the holiday cheer
We were drunk, and full; and were barely awake
There was a huge THUMP, and I thought my roof would break
We went outside, and looked on with dread
Santa had skidded off my roof, and wrecked into my shed
Out of his bag he gave us duct tape and Marlboro coats
Toilet paper, Febreeze, and Sams Club Instant Oats
He gave us Mac N Cheese; Name brand, it was KRAFT
And bootleg copies of Star Wars and Shaft
We called out the tow truck, to help poor Santa out
They began to drive off when we heard him shout
"Toilet paper Doug's trailer, so thick he can't clear it.
You may live in trailers, but you're rich in Christmas spirit"
Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the park
No one had paid their light bill, and all the trailers were dark
Me in my flannel, and my Molly Hatchet cap
Had just finished a pizza, and was ready to nap
Mom was on parole, and drunk as Cooter Brown
I figured I would leave for a bit, to let her calm down
I went to the Jiffy, for some last minute gifts
Potted meat, tuna & Phillies blunts for spliffs
On my way back home, I saw a kid throwing rocks
At a 57 Dodge truck, which was sitting on blocks
I flashed him a smile, and walked down to my row
And wondered if this Christmas, we would get snow
I got back to my trailer, and paid my light bill by phone
5 minutes later, the Christmas lights came on
The lights on the porch, and the ones in the tree
Had been hanging there since 1993
I heard a knock on the door, and yelled "Who is it?"
The neighbors saw my lights, and had come over to visit
They brought Mac N Cheese, wings and PBR beer
We sang carols, lit farts, and shared the holiday cheer
We were drunk, and full; and were barely awake
There was a huge THUMP, and I thought my roof would break
We went outside, and looked on with dread
Santa had skidded off my roof, and wrecked into my shed
Out of his bag he gave us duct tape and Marlboro coats
Toilet paper, Febreeze, and Sams Club Instant Oats
He gave us Mac N Cheese; Name brand, it was KRAFT
And bootleg copies of Star Wars and Shaft
We called out the tow truck, to help poor Santa out
They began to drive off when we heard him shout
"Toilet paper Doug's trailer, so thick he can't clear it.
You may live in trailers, but you're rich in Christmas spirit"
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Uncle Larry (12-24-2018)
