TOAK, The Thread of All Knowledge Part XI
#191
#193
Not a drop. Maybe they got a sprinkle at work. The rain went south.
#196
#197
We've got a warm up forecast with some heavy rain for up here, after a couple of days of clear. Just the opposite of what they have been forecasting which was colder with snow.
#198
Two old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning.
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy...
level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll
be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this **** but me."
The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn't even short of
breath.
The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy's stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy.
The 87-year-old said, "Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy...
level high and you'll have great stamina with the ladies."
So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery.
As he was looking around, the saleslady asked if he needed any help.
He said, "Do you have any rye bread?"
She said, "Yes, there's a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?"
He said, "I want 5 loaves."
She said, "My goodness, 5 loaves! By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it'll
be hard."
He replied, "I can't believe everybody knows about this **** but me."
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Stud Duck (05-11-2018)
#199
#200
A Mexican, a Black, a Muslim and a Redneck were walking together on a beach when the Black stumbled over a bottle in the sand.
He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
"I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece."
Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."
The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa .."
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!"
Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, "I wish for ten thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah."
Poof! It was done! ten thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"
The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.
The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn't get any better than this!"
He picked up the bottle, rubbed the sand off it, and a Genie appeared.
"I can only grant four wishes," the Genie said. "Since there are four of you, you may have a wish apiece."
Pointing at the Black, he said, "Since you found the bottle, you may have the first wish."
The Black studied for a moment then said, "I wish for a fleet of ships so that I can gather all my people and take them back to our homeland, Africa .."
Poof! It was done! Hundreds of ships appeared on the skyline.
The Mexican said, "I weesh for enough Cheby peekups to take all my people back to our homeland, May-he-co!"
Poof! It was done! Row after row of Chevrolet Pickups appeared on the beach.
The Muslim said, "I wish for ten thousand camels to take all of my people away from this horrible country loaded with infidels so we can live in peace in Muslim countries and serve Allah."
Poof! It was done! ten thousand camels suddenly appeared on the beach.
Turning to the Redneck, the Genie asked, "And what is your wish?"
The Redneck watched as the loaded pickups began moving toward the border, then looked out to sea and watched the loaded ships sailing out into the sunset, then he looked at all of the Muslims getting on top of the camels and riding off.
The Redneck said, "Just give me a Bud Light. It doesn't get any better than this!"
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Stud Duck (05-11-2018)