TOAK the Thread Of All Knowledge VIII
03-24-2017, 02:40 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
Just trying to do my part to pollinate a Kinder, Gentler TOAK of goodwill and warm fuzzies.
03-24-2017, 02:43 PM
03-24-2017, 02:50 PM
Banned
A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!'
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?'
'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'
03-24-2017, 02:55 PM
Banned
Oldie but goodie:
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.
NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO
"DEFROST THE CHICKEN." (TRUE STORY)
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.
NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO
"DEFROST THE CHICKEN." (TRUE STORY)
03-24-2017, 02:57 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
Thanks Mick, Great that we can combine our collective knowledge and harvest the results, yielding benefit for all the Bros ...... !
03-24-2017, 03:02 PM
Banned
A union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory, and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a TRUMP for President button, and two beers in front of him.
He does not have to be an Einstein, to know that this guy, is a Republican.
So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican."
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile..., waves at him then says, "Thank you!'" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union boss.
The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican.
He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you !" The union boss once again, loudly orders drinks for, everyone except the Republican.
As before, this doesn't seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, '"Thank you !"
The union boss asks the bartender, "What the hell is the matter with that Republican ? I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly *** does, is smile, and thanks me.
Is he nuts ?"
"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place !"
He does not have to be an Einstein, to know that this guy, is a Republican.
So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican."
Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile..., waves at him then says, "Thank you!'" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union boss.
The union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican.
He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you !" The union boss once again, loudly orders drinks for, everyone except the Republican.
As before, this doesn't seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, '"Thank you !"
The union boss asks the bartender, "What the hell is the matter with that Republican ? I have ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly *** does, is smile, and thanks me.
Is he nuts ?"
"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place !"
03-24-2017, 03:07 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
03-24-2017, 03:09 PM
Oldie but goodie:
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.
NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO
"DEFROST THE CHICKEN." (TRUE STORY)
The true story of the Chicken Gun. Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist!
Scientists at NASA built a gun specifically to launch standard 4 pound dead chickens at the windshields of airliners, military jets and the space shuttle, all traveling at maximum velocity. The idea is to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the strength of the windshields.
British engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the windshields of their new high speed trains. Arrangements were made, and a gun was sent to the British engineers.
WHEN THE GUN WAS FIRED, THE ENGINEERS STOOD SHOCKED AS THE CHICKEN HURLED OUT OF THE BARREL, CRASHED INTO THE SHATTERPROOF SHIELD, SMASHED IT TO SMITHEREENS, BLASTED THROUGH THE CONTROL CONSOLE, SNAPPED THE ENGINEER'S BACK-REST IN TWO, AND EMBEDDED ITSELF IN THE BACK WALL OF THE CABIN, LIKE AN ARROW SHOT FROM A BOW. THE HORRIFIED BRITS SENT NASA THE DISASTROUS RESULTS OF THE EXPERIMENT, ALONG WITH THE DESIGNS OF THE WINDSHIELD AND BEGGED THE U.S SCIENTISTS FOR SUGGESTIONS.
NASA RESPONDED WITH A ONE-LINE MEMO
"DEFROST THE CHICKEN." (TRUE STORY)
03-24-2017, 03:28 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
03-24-2017, 03:48 PM