Dont need a license to vote either.....

 

Put in for some vacation time. Taking the week of thanksgiving off. Doing fun stuff, nope. Re doing the bathroom.....

 

 

Um that glass enclosure is the size of our whole bathroom!

 

Taking out the Wainscot and putting in a 4' high subway tile surround in the bathroom.

 

 

yea something like that.

 

First Text Message From Alan to Fred, his next door neighbor.

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around, in fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Regards, Alan.

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He look out his phone where he saw he had a second message from his neighbor,

Second text message from Fred To Alan.

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “WiFi” to “Wife.” Technology, hey? Regards, Alan.

 

Your wish is...


Sven and Ole were drinking in the local bar one night when a beautiful young woman came up and asked Sven to dance. Well the night went on and the young lady took Sven home, and the next thing you know the couple fell head over heels in love with each other, and then they're engaged to be married. Ole had never seen Sven so happy, so one day Sven shows up at Ole and Lena's house, all sad and depressed.

Ole asks Sven, "Sven, you're lookin sadder than I've ever seen you, wat's da matter?

Sven replies: "Ole, it's dat woman I'm going to marry, I've found out some terrible tings about her.

"For one ting I found out she only vant's me for my money.

"But Sven" Ole says, "you don't have any money."

and Sven replies; "Ya, and dat's da other ting - she's stupid too.



Sven and Ole went into the garbage hauling business. All they had for a truck was Sven's 1949 Ford pick-up with the grain sides on it. They had just it filled to the top, when they were stopped by the police. The Police said that garbage was blowing off the top of their load and if they didn't find a way to hold it down, he was going to give them a ticket. So, Ole climbed up on top and lay down spread eagle on top of the garbage.

As they drove along, they went under a bridge. Two Swedes were standing on the bridge and saw this sight. One of them remarked, "Vell vould you look at dat. Somebody threw away a perfectly good Norwegian."


al

 

Al, got a decent pile of these if you wanna try it!
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