TOAK The thread of all knowledge VII
#4683
OLE LAY sprawled across three seats in the posh theater. The usher took note of this and whispered, "Pardon, sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
Ole groaned, but didn't budge. The usher wasn't going to let things pass. "Sir, if you don't get up from there I'm going to have to call the manager," he growled.
Ole just groaned some more. The usher trotted up the aisle, and came right back with the manager. Still, they couldn't get Ole to pull himself together, so they called the cops.
"All right buddy, what's your name?" one cop demanded.
"Ole."
"From where, Ole?"
"The balcony."
OLE WAS hiking in the mountains of Norway when he slipped on a wet rock and fell over the edge of a five-hundred-foot cliff. He had fallen twenty feet when he got hold of a bush that was growing out of a rock. There he was dangling, looking down at the deep fjord down below - it was certain death. His hands started to perspire and he called out, "Is there anybody up there to help me?"
Then he heard a reassuring, deep voice ringing out, "I'm here, Ole. The Lord. Have faith. Let go of that bush and I will save you."
Ole looked down, looked up, and said, "Is there anyone else up there?"
SVEN WAS hired to paint the yellow stripe down the highway. His first day he painted ten miles. The second day he only painted five.
His boss, thinking that he was getting slower because he had started off too hard on the first day, decided to give him a day off to rest. But when Sven came back to work the next day, he only painted half a mile.
So his boss asked, "Excuse me, but why have you been painting less and less each day, even after I gave you a day off?"
"Simple, " Sven answered. "I've been getting farther away from the paint can!"
Al
#4685
It took me a long time to figure out what gear really works in the winter. Lows in the 20's for 40 miles in the morning will test your gear. Then add rain. Kinda over riding year round. Now if I had a Fugly bike.....
#4688
Great stuff, Al. Sorry, I had to bastardize that joke given today's political excitement.
#4689
Gear is all Morning but I wouldn't hesitate to try First Gear.
For heated grips look into Heat Demons. They mount inside the bars and never herd of any failures and can run any grips. Good insulated canvas over pants was the best thing I've done for the cold and the rain.
#4690
With mornings really cold here, than warm afternoons, as long as I csn get to work not 100% numb, I am happy. I do around 45 each way too. Half highway. Always think, should I ride faster and get there sooner, or slow down and have less wind on me?