Fish tacos are never a joke, Lou....oh, wait....the blind man in the fish market joke just crept into my mind.

 

Another blind man joke:

A blind carpenter walks into a lumber mill and shouts out, "I am a blind carpenter and I need a job."

The foreman walks over to the blind carpenter and says, "If you're blind, how can you work in a lumber yard?"

The blind carpenter says, "I can tell any piece of lumber by it's smell."

The foreman says "O.K. I'll give you a test and if you pass the test, you've got a job."

The foreman takes the carpenter over to a table and says, "I will put some lumber on a table in front of you and you tell me what it is."

The foreman then puts a piece of lumber on the table and says, "Ready!"

The carpenter bends over and takes a deep sniff moving his head from one side to the other. He says "That's a number two pine, two by four, eight foot long."

The foreman says, "Duh! That's right, but pine is easy to tell by the smell and I think you guessed the rest. Here's another piece of lumber for you to identify."

The foreman puts a piece of lumber on the table and says, "Ready!"

The blind carpenter bends over and takes a deep sniff moving his head from one side to the other and says, "This is a tough one, please turn it over so I can smell the other side."

The foreman does this and says "Ready!"

The carpenter takes another deep sniff moving his head from side to side. He then says, "That's a clear heart red wood, four by four, six foot long."

The foreman is amazed and says "That's right, but I still think you're just lucky and still guessing. Let me try one more time and if you get it right you got a job."

The foreman then goes into the office and asks his secretary to help him stump the blind carpenter by taking off all of her clothes and laying down on the table. She takes off her clothes walks out of the office and lays face down on the table. The foreman says, "Ready!"

The blind carpenter takes a deep sniff moving his head from side to side. He looks puzzled and takes another sniff and says, "This also is a tough one, please turn it over so I can smell the other side."

The foreman gestures with his hand to the secretary, she rolls over, and the foreman says, "Ready!"

The blind carpenter moves his head from side to side again looking puzzled. He sniffs one more time, looks surprised, and says, "I got it. That's a **** house door off a tuna boat."

He got the job.

 

Marcus, I am so excited I was able to purchase online tickets to your Thursday matinee, saved me a ton. I will be the man center front squeezing kiwi fruits.

 

Awesome! I will be sure to haev the stage lights pointed right into my eyes so I don't see that, Mick

 

If a man squeezes kiwi fruits and no one sees him did it make a noise? Tree analogies are so difficult.

 

 

Evenin, Russ. I fear the swinging bachelor lifestyle you espoused is not nearly as exciting as you portrayed.

 

It depends on how you rub that little carrot....

 

I've had green **** carpet installed, I am wearing love beads, my patchouli oil is fresh and my lava lamp is crankin'....the dogs are impressed when I give them treats.

 

Hope the dog treats are not a carrot covered in peanut butter