Mick, in the interest of keeping the clubhouse on an even keel, call an Uber for Sherri and meet with Russ and Jack. I'm sure she'll understand.
Dear Sherri:
I was unable to meet you after being away with a heart that missed you more than words can convey. In my stead there will be a complete stranger with a shitty car trying their best to supplement their meager income. I will be having a fabulous time riding my bike, drinking beer and swapping lies about the size of *****, how slippery our nipples are and the care free lifestyle afforded to those in Portland, Oregon. I know you will understand.
Jack, I have to pick Sherri up at the airport that day. I will be there in spirit with thoughts of your slippery nipples and giant ****. Damn, I hope no one who is unfamiliar with the backstory reads that, we might be engaged!
Hey Tim, Greg....
Mick, no slippery nipples at the Deuce.
We may however get lucky and catch the Mullet Boys warming up before their gig...
I was unable to meet you after being away with a heart that missed you more than words can convey. In my stead there will be a complete stranger with a shitty car trying their best to supplement their meager income. I will be having a fabulous time riding my bike, drinking beer and swapping lies about the size of *****, how slippery our nipples are and the care free lifestyle afforded to those in Portland, Oregon. I know you will understand.
I was unable to meet you after being away with a heart that missed you more than words can convey. In my stead there will be a complete stranger with a shitty car trying their best to supplement their meager income. I will be having a fabulous time riding my bike, drinking beer and swapping lies about the size of *****, how slippery our nipples are and the care free lifestyle afforded to those in Portland, Oregon. I know you will understand.
Your future ex-husband,
Mick
I think that's well thought out Mick. It's a winner. Make sure you stick that to the fridge and tear out all the pages of locksmiths in the phone book before you leave the house.
I was unable to meet you after being away with a heart that missed you more than words can convey. In my stead there will be a complete stranger with a shitty car trying their best to supplement their meager income. I will be having a fabulous time riding my bike, drinking beer and swapping lies about the size of *****, how slippery our nipples are and the care free lifestyle afforded to those in Portland, Oregon. I know you will understand.
Your future ex-husband,
Mick
I think that should work. Make sure you send daisies.
10-04-2016, 10:01 PM
