ok, so I am from NY born and raised. I did spend some time in the Army, but came home to raise my boys where I grew up. So I hear this expression "Let me tell ya how a cow eats cabbage!" so now I just told ya I am a Yank, so this was completely foreign to me... so I googled it, and I must say I was amused with the results. For all you NON southerners like me out there, here it is:

Once upon a time, a circus came to a small rural town. While they were putting up the big top, a baby elephant escaped and found his way to a little old lady’s garden up the road. The lady in our story couldn’t see very well, but she was alarmed enough to call the police and report a cow in her cabbage patch pulling up her cabbages with his tail. The policeman on the other end of the line listened patiently, “A cow is eating your cabbage, ma’am? We’ll send someone right out."
“I never said he was eating ‘em,” the lady said.
“No?” The policeman replied. “Then what is he doing?”
The woman hesitated and then exclaimed. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you!”
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