First and foremost, I am very sorry to hear of your loss. Something of this magnitude will no doubt take some time to deal and be able to reason with. As far as maybe something helpful to refer to in the meantime, I have found a book by Viktor Frankl, "Man's Search For Meaning" to be a great and truly profound read. I think it is very applicable to a situation like this one. I have read and re-read it quite a few times.



To paraphrase a story cited in the book, where a husband who lost his wife is distraught and asks Dr. Frankl as to how he can going on living without her, Viktor Frankl tells him to think about him living and her passing, as him having to be the one to carry on the 'burden' and deal with her untimely passing, rather than her having to go through the same and experience these emotions. Thus by surviving his wife, he is the one who took the burden of dealing with a tremendous loss upon his own shoulders.
Suppose in this case, you can apply it to your situation and ride in your friend's memory and think that he is looking down and seeing you do what he loved doing as well and not have him be the one to struggle with the emotions you are experiencing.

 

you're the only one who's close enough to answer that question .
would he say give it up ? or was he the kind of guy who'd continue riding no matter what ?
if it was you that died would he tattoo your name on his arm and keep riding or would he sell his bike ?

or you could just make your own decision and do what makes you feel right , but it may take some time to decide that .

 

I just experienced something similar. My Next door neighbor I met just 3 weeks ago and went riding with only once to dinner to get to know him and his girlfriend. He had a serious accident on the way to work. He will recover but it will be 6-9 months and lots of pain and suffering. I too, felt apprehensive about riding. I rubbed on my Rozie and polished her up, we had a long talk, but I didn't ride much. I took her out to the bike night last night and felt better about things. It just takes some time, even when it is not a close friend. I am very impressed with the advice you have gotten from this forum. Good caring people are found in the most interesting places. Go polish her, talk it out...it helps.

 

One of my friends had just bought a new bike because he wanted to ride with me,two weeks after buying the bike he had a car pull in front of him broadside, he is a big guy at 300lbs. It threw him over 75 ft doing 45 mph,I visited him in the hospital while he was on a breathing machine.

He vowed to never ride again. I was raised on a bike,I will die a biker.That being said,he and I are close friends whether he rides or I ride,should be the same in life or death.

And I feel your loss man,there have been 4 friends lost in the last 2 yrs.

 

Maybe I'm just not sympathetic, but I don't get the whole concept of not doing something you enjoy because a friend got killed doing it, be it riding, driving, flying, etc. As mentioned before people die in all matter of ways but we continue to live life.

 

Sorry to hear about your friend but I think most of us have been where you are. At least, being on the forums, it's all brought us to that point. It has for me.

My cousin was killed on his BSA in '66. I got my first bike in '70. I didn't let what happened to him stop me. In '81 when I had my FXE for 6 years, I sold it because all I thought about was crashing.

Now, I TRY to watch out what's going on around me. I try to stay away from traffic, like big cities, as much as I can. I don't ride at night. But no matter what you do or try to do, you can't control the dumb MF-ers, texting, talking and playing games on their damn cell phones. Or, the ones who aren't doing that crap but are just goofballs who aren't paying attention.

You should take some time away from riding. If you feel it's not for you any longer, sell it. That's all you can do. It's what I did.

 

Very sorry about your friend. Take your time to see what you want to do.
My thoughts are with you.
tbone.

 

The truth is...you can do everything absolutely perfectly and still end up in a wreck. You'll lessen your chances if you do it well, but you can't eliminate the possibility you'll be maimed or killed riding your bike.

This is the first decision you make before you get on your bike each time (whether you realize it, or not) i.e., Is this worth dying for? If the answer's 'yes', then you go. If not, you end up selling the bike.

With the death of your friend, that question has hit you flat in the face, in big neon letters. But don't kid yourself. It's always been there. And it always will be. "Is this worth dying for?"

You have my condolences for your friend. I think in the old days, guys would have a fallen buddy's name painted on their bike, in memoriam. Just a thought.

Alan

 

Riding safe on a bike
Driving safe in a cage
Does not ensure safety!

 

You know, i haven't rode my bike in nearly three weeks. Not because i lost a friend, but just because of everything i read hear and it had me thinking about mortality and the risks of not wearing a helmet. I will not sell my bike either, it's too awesome, i'm just in a weird place too, i can't compare my deal with yours, thats rough man, but i'd sure say you're doing the right thing just until you get your mind straight. You should take whatever time you need to get there, and you will. Hang in there man.