"Real Biker" checklist.
#1
02-26-2007, 08:13 PM
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 154
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"Real Biker" checklist.
Lots of debate recently it seems over what exactly constitutes a real biker. To all the rubs, newbies, and just regular ole motorcyclists who want to be a real biker, this list should help.
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
- You must do all the wrenching on your own bike
- Your bike should bethe most expensive and valuable thing you own, if you have a nice house it's time to find a trailer court or permanently live in a tent in the woods
- If you own any type of pants that aren't jeans or dickies, burn them now
- If you own any shirt that isn't of the "t" variety, burn those too
- If it ain't country or rock and roll, it ain't music
- Your coffee is black, no cream, no sugar, no BS, just black
- You must have tattoos, 10 is the minimum, "enigma" is preferred
- You must have a deadly weapon on you at all times
- Only wave back to guys on harleys or customs, only assist guys on harleys or customs, if a jap bike rider crashes you are to stop, get off the bike, **** on him, point and laugh, then ride off again
- Teeth are optional, the more you lose in barroom fights the better
- A cigar or cigarette should be in your mouth at all times
- If there is a chain on your wallet you should be choking someone to death with it or not have it at all
- There is no such thing as "riding weather". If hell opens up and lava is free flowing through the streets that is STILL a good enough day to ride
- Your goal at every diner you go to is to have sex with the waitress, rob it, or start a huge brawl, so pick one (or all 3)
- Boots are the only footwear the exists you damn pansy
- Black and denim are the only colors in the rainbow, the only color allowed is red andis only allowed on your clothing if it's dried blood, preferably someone elses
- You know 8 bottles of 6 onces of water per day is normal for regular people, your goal is a 24 pack of beer per day or 1 quart of whatever whiskey you prefer
- While on the subject, beer and whiskey are the only forms of liquid in the world
- Dinner should be meat and potatoes. Meat should be bleeding. Salads, vegetables, the use of silverware, napkins, or wine is strictly prohibited
- Warrants are trophies, the more you got the better you are
- Prison time is a given, get used to it
MOST IMPORTANTLY no real biker is allowed to live past the age of 60. If you reach your 60th birthday you are to drive your bike at top speeds directly into the grand canyon while waiving a FTW flag.
Anyone wanna add anything?
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
- You must do all the wrenching on your own bike
- Your bike should bethe most expensive and valuable thing you own, if you have a nice house it's time to find a trailer court or permanently live in a tent in the woods
- If you own any type of pants that aren't jeans or dickies, burn them now
- If you own any shirt that isn't of the "t" variety, burn those too
- If it ain't country or rock and roll, it ain't music
- Your coffee is black, no cream, no sugar, no BS, just black
- You must have tattoos, 10 is the minimum, "enigma" is preferred
- You must have a deadly weapon on you at all times
- Only wave back to guys on harleys or customs, only assist guys on harleys or customs, if a jap bike rider crashes you are to stop, get off the bike, **** on him, point and laugh, then ride off again
- Teeth are optional, the more you lose in barroom fights the better
- A cigar or cigarette should be in your mouth at all times
- If there is a chain on your wallet you should be choking someone to death with it or not have it at all
- There is no such thing as "riding weather". If hell opens up and lava is free flowing through the streets that is STILL a good enough day to ride
- Your goal at every diner you go to is to have sex with the waitress, rob it, or start a huge brawl, so pick one (or all 3)
- Boots are the only footwear the exists you damn pansy
- Black and denim are the only colors in the rainbow, the only color allowed is red andis only allowed on your clothing if it's dried blood, preferably someone elses
- You know 8 bottles of 6 onces of water per day is normal for regular people, your goal is a 24 pack of beer per day or 1 quart of whatever whiskey you prefer
- While on the subject, beer and whiskey are the only forms of liquid in the world
- Dinner should be meat and potatoes. Meat should be bleeding. Salads, vegetables, the use of silverware, napkins, or wine is strictly prohibited
- Warrants are trophies, the more you got the better you are
- Prison time is a given, get used to it
MOST IMPORTANTLY no real biker is allowed to live past the age of 60. If you reach your 60th birthday you are to drive your bike at top speeds directly into the grand canyon while waiving a FTW flag.
Anyone wanna add anything?
#2
02-26-2007, 08:17 PM
Banned
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
DAMN... I hope Spring gets here soon
This is worse than LAST Winter.
This is worse than LAST Winter.
#4
02-26-2007, 08:22 PM
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
Some folks just have to much timeon their hands. I am a real biker,and amhappy to say at least 85% of the said requirements do not apply to me! 
Different spokes for different folks!
Different spokes for different folks!
#5
02-26-2007, 08:36 PM
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
don't forget to add that "real bikers don't use the internet or post their problems in forums"
#6
02-26-2007, 08:39 PM
Ultimate HDF Member
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
ORIGINAL: camarotuner
Lots of debate recently it seems over what exactly constitutes a real biker. To all the rubs, newbies, and just regular ole motorcyclists who want to be a real biker, this list should help.
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
Lots of debate recently it seems over what exactly constitutes a real biker. To all the rubs, newbies, and just regular ole motorcyclists who want to be a real biker, this list should help.
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
#7
02-26-2007, 08:42 PM
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 154
Likes: 0
Received 0 Likes
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RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
"If you wear "Panties" in the first place, you probably don't need to read the rest of the requirements!!"
You got a point there....
"You got a point there....
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#8
02-26-2007, 08:43 PM
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
ORIGINAL: camarotuner
Lots of debate recently it seems over what exactly constitutes a real biker. To all the rubs, newbies, and just regular ole motorcyclists who want to be a real biker, this list should help.
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
- You must do all the wrenching on your own bike
- Your bike should bethe most expensive and valuable thing you own, if you have a nice house it's time to find a trailer court or permanently live in a tent in the woods
- If you own any type of pants that aren't jeans or dickies, burn them now
- If you own any shirt that isn't of the "t" variety, burn those too
- If it ain't country or rock and roll, it ain't music
- Your coffee is black, no cream, no sugar, no BS, just black
- You must have tattoos, 10 is the minimum, "enigma" is preferred
- You must have a deadly weapon on you at all times
- Only wave back to guys on harleys or customs, only assist guys on harleys or customs, if a jap bike rider crashes you are to stop, get off the bike, **** on him, point and laugh, then ride off again
- Teeth are optional, the more you lose in barroom fights the better
- A cigar or cigarette should be in your mouth at all times
- If there is a chain on your wallet you should be choking someone to death with it or not have it at all
- There is no such thing as "riding weather". If hell opens up and lava is free flowing through the streets that is STILL a good enough day to ride
- Your goal at every diner you go to is to have sex with the waitress, rob it, or start a huge brawl, so pick one (or all 3)
- Boots are the only footwear the exists you damn pansy
- Black and denim are the only colors in the rainbow, the only color allowed is red andis only allowed on your clothing if it's dried blood, preferably someone elses
- You know 8 bottles of 6 onces of water per day is normal for regular people, your goal is a 24 pack of beer per day or 1 quart of whatever whiskey you prefer
- While on the subject, beer and whiskey are the only forms of liquid in the world
- Dinner should be meat and potatoes. Meat should be bleeding. Salads, vegetables, the use of silverware, napkins, or wine is strictly prohibited
- Warrants are trophies, the more you got the better you are
- Prison time is a given, get used to it
MOST IMPORTANTLY no real biker is allowed to live past the age of 60. If you reach your 60th birthday you are to drive your bike at top speeds directly into the grand canyon while waiving a FTW flag.
Anyone wanna add anything?
Lots of debate recently it seems over what exactly constitutes a real biker. To all the rubs, newbies, and just regular ole motorcyclists who want to be a real biker, this list should help.
(for the record this is SUPPOSED to be all in good fun, so if your panties are easily bunched up just move on to a different post)
- You must do all the wrenching on your own bike
- Your bike should bethe most expensive and valuable thing you own, if you have a nice house it's time to find a trailer court or permanently live in a tent in the woods
- If you own any type of pants that aren't jeans or dickies, burn them now
- If you own any shirt that isn't of the "t" variety, burn those too
- If it ain't country or rock and roll, it ain't music
- Your coffee is black, no cream, no sugar, no BS, just black
- You must have tattoos, 10 is the minimum, "enigma" is preferred
- You must have a deadly weapon on you at all times
- Only wave back to guys on harleys or customs, only assist guys on harleys or customs, if a jap bike rider crashes you are to stop, get off the bike, **** on him, point and laugh, then ride off again
- Teeth are optional, the more you lose in barroom fights the better
- A cigar or cigarette should be in your mouth at all times
- If there is a chain on your wallet you should be choking someone to death with it or not have it at all
- There is no such thing as "riding weather". If hell opens up and lava is free flowing through the streets that is STILL a good enough day to ride
- Your goal at every diner you go to is to have sex with the waitress, rob it, or start a huge brawl, so pick one (or all 3)
- Boots are the only footwear the exists you damn pansy
- Black and denim are the only colors in the rainbow, the only color allowed is red andis only allowed on your clothing if it's dried blood, preferably someone elses
- You know 8 bottles of 6 onces of water per day is normal for regular people, your goal is a 24 pack of beer per day or 1 quart of whatever whiskey you prefer
- While on the subject, beer and whiskey are the only forms of liquid in the world
- Dinner should be meat and potatoes. Meat should be bleeding. Salads, vegetables, the use of silverware, napkins, or wine is strictly prohibited
- Warrants are trophies, the more you got the better you are
- Prison time is a given, get used to it
MOST IMPORTANTLY no real biker is allowed to live past the age of 60. If you reach your 60th birthday you are to drive your bike at top speeds directly into the grand canyon while waiving a FTW flag.
Anyone wanna add anything?
I'm glad somebody finely got it right
#9
02-26-2007, 08:43 PM
Ultimate HDF Member
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
ORIGINAL: camarotuner
"If you wear "Panties" in the first place, you probably don't need to read the rest of the requirements!!"
You got a point there....
"If you wear "Panties" in the first place, you probably don't need to read the rest of the requirements!!
"You got a point there....
#10
02-26-2007, 08:48 PM
Elite HDF Member
RE: "Real Biker" checklist.
[sm=laughingsmilie.gif][sm=laughingsmilie.gif][sm=laughingsmilie.gif]
My buddy at work fits just about all them. He just lost his license for one month starting on Wednesday for DUI.
My buddy at work fits just about all them. He just lost his license for one month starting on Wednesday for DUI.