Surprised that some people agreed with me. I am going to assume that if the stepson is 21, then the wife and mother of said child is 41. Then a reasonable assumption would be that the stepfather and husband is 41. Fast forward 20 years and the stepson will be 41 still living with you with no work experience. What will have changed is that 20 years of the OP's life is behind him and he is out a couple hundred grand on the stepson. If you act now and boot the young adult out, it will be in the best interest of all parties. This is not tough love, it is called parenting.

 

You guys are ****ed up. Why dont you lead him the way to get a job or at least encourage him. 21 is a very young age and the only job out there is volunteer work, getting a mall job, flipping burgers, or working at UPS. How can your son get any skills if he doesn't have any.

If you dont motive him. Then he is not gonna do ****.

How is cutting someone off going to prove? Obviously the boy couldn't fend for himself if you did kick him out. So it's ok to see your step son or any family member homeless, while you are sitting in your nice warm home.

Im not sure what kind of parenting skills are those but those aren't parenting skills to me.

If he is that bad then you should tell your wife

 

In the original post, my understanding that the man is 21 years of age and has never had a job. The step father is not going to lead him out of this lifestyle. The birth parents are going to have to lead this vagrant out of this life style and it ain't gonna happen.

 

Had a simular with my youngest daughter. Didn't push her out because to the grandkids. Offered her an op to finish her education while we paid for living and daycare. Now she really has her life together and married to a great guy. Had I had a son with the same lazyness...might have tossed him out to grow up. Trully a hard decision.

At age 21 I was getting ready to reenlist and was already an E-5. Maybe he needs some growing up time on Uncle Sugar's dime.

 

When I was 8 years old I mowed the next door neighbor's lawn for $3 a pop.

Got a paper route and delivered papers until I was 12. Worked at a local tourist attraction then got a job working in a restaurant when I was 14. Worked full time all through high school. By the time I was 20 years old I was the general manager of a restaurant and also picked up a 4 year college degree in Engineering. I've been working as an Engineer ever since.

I'm tired of working. Can I move in with you? I will give you my personal guarantee that I can have that lazy kid out of your house in about 20 minutes. I'll live in his room.

 

Yes, modify the baffles and find the tone you need. Rule at my house is that you are either a student or a worker. School keeps you from having to pay rent. Working means you pay me rent and I save that for a down payment on their house. Both kids knew the rules. Worked out well.

 

Don't ever compare the influence of a birth parent to that of a step parent. The step parent has very little control and almost no influence on the behavior of a 21 adult with no work ethics. There ain't no shortage of jobs in Wyoming.

 

I'd put all the blame on a kid not worth his weight on his parents...

Mostly there Dad.... I send him packing back to him if he didn't pull his own weight...

Failure to Launch, movie comes to my mind..

I've had two sons, both are doing great, expressilly in this part of the country where U have to have an Education to get any decent paying job.

 

Kid 21? Do like the folks used to at 18,.. Military or street.
Worked on me. As for the mods it's kind of like the plague.
It (the mod) comes when riding season ends each year.
Unfortunately there's no cure.

 

You'll get the baffle thing figured out, but I say drop the kid off at the recruiters office.