the post about running from the cops brought back a memory of something dumb i did several years ago. the business i ran with my father was about a block from a branch bank at a busy intersection. the light at this intersection often malfunctioned, so it was not unusual for a cop to be directing traffic there. it was a tipical friday at around noon, and i had gone to the bank to cash my check and planned on "crusing main " one time before heading home. i finished my banking and came roaring out of the alley by the bank on my old superglide. there was a steady stream of traffic, but i saw a gap and blasted my way out between two cars. the cop directing traffic began blowing her whistle and looking very unhappy pointed for me to pull over into a parking lot. i pulled into the lot and stopped for a minute, and thought screw this i ain't waiting on a ticket. i left and thought no more about it until i ran into an aquaintance a few weeks later who said "what the hell were you doing on your bike in the middle of mr. sherman's funeral procession." i felt like a world class idiot!

 

Not a riding story but going to Hawaii on my honeymoon the guy at the ticket counter said we were going to miss our flight if we don't run. we take off running to the gate thinkng we were screwed. On the way we didn't notice the seating area was packed with people. We ran right by them, straight on the tramway where the operator was manuevering it to the plane! We scared the crap out of her! She yelled at us saying to get the hell off, the FAA doesn't allow people on while its moving. So, thinking we missed the plane we walk back up the terminal and when we popped out of the tramway about 100 people started clapping at us!

We felt like first class morons. Makes me wonder how many people fall for that. I guess its on the job humor...

 

haha! ouch! mr sherman prolly got a laugh out of it.

one time when i was in college the band i was playing in got hired to play for a fraternity's spring break week in daytona. on the way down there we had a little convoy of about 5 vehicles carrying our gear. we didn't have a big van or liftgate truck, so we were hauling it down there in pickup trucks and cars. we were all blazing up on the way and i was in front of the convoy. in my altered state i see a sign that says "all trucks" so i follow the arrow....into a weigh station. what a dumbass. the stoners behind me all followed me into the weigh station. you shoulda seen the look on the attendants face.

 

I'll say that I have NEVER in my life looked like a fool, unless there was some one else around to witness it...

 

Nobody was around to see this, but I once pressed the starter button on a bike that was in gear. The bike lunged forward, punching a nice hole in my drywall. I laughed.

 

I've turned into a one way street--going the wrong way into traffic saying what is wrong with all these idiots only to very quickly find out that I'm the idiot!

 

I'll join just happened a couple nights ago .. Spent a good 5 mins trying to line up my lower fairing on the wrong side of the Bike ..

They are on now didn't take any time when have the right one on the Right not the Left ...

 

I've not done ANYTHING to make myself look or feel like a fool.......since last night.


(but hey, it's still morning. I got all day)

 

When I was about 17 I came roaring up in front of the house one day, slid sideways to bring the *** end of the bike around to back up to the curb, bumped hard against the curb backing up and then jumped off. I started strutting (thinking I was all bitchen and such) toward the house when I heard the bike crash to the ground behind me! During all my theatrics, I had forgotten to put the kickstand down. I never looked back at it and just kept walking with my head held high like I meant to do it. My Dad looked up from watering the lawn and chuckled, but, never said a word.

 

I started my Cop career in 1974 working the front desk and radio at the county jail. I'd been there about two months when one day around lunch time one of the bank alarms on the wall went off.

My partner was in the dining room having lunch so I was running everything by myself. I turned the alarm off and saw it was the First National Bank. I knew the one inside the city was the PD's jurisdiction and the first thing that came to mind was it was the bank branch just outside of town.

So I sent everyone to that bank branch. When the Deputies arrived they found out the bank hadn't been robbed. The branch 6 miles further south of the city HAD BEEN ROBBED!! I'd sent everyone to the wrong bank!

That's the day I was tagged with the name - 'Malfunction.' It stuck so good/bad that I've had attorney's refer to me as 'Mal' when I'm testifying in court.

Mal74