HUGE mistake involving wife...
#71
08-12-2010, 08:23 AM
Road Warrior
relationships are two things: compromises and communication.
it's great that the OP's intentions were innocent enough, and that's a good start, but it's not quite enough. if the OP's OL is insecure about other females riding pillion, the OP should realize and respect this. the flip side, though, is that the OL should also give the OP the benefit of the doubt and not fly off the handle, particularly if he was being forthcoming about the whole situation. so, everyone could stand some improvement.
tangential comments:
having someone ride with you *is* intimite. if you say it isn't, i ask you this: would you let a same-sex person ride behind you? (insert obligatory Pulp Fiction "would you give a man a foot massage" reference here.) i agree, it's not as bad as sharing a bed or anything, but it's certainly more intimate than a friendly hug, even if there are no intentions behind it.
and let's be honest here, a lot of guys use the bike as a ploy to pick up chicks (in every sense of the phrase), and chicks arent always riding pillion just to feel the wind in their hair. alterior motives occur often enough to be a legitimate concern for couples.
OP, you said your wife hates the bike. that might be a part of this also. anything you do thats associated with riding is automatically going to be villified by her, so naturally anything you do with another *female* while riding is going to come across even worse. im not saying it's right of her to be like that, but you should be aware of it.
it's great that the OP's intentions were innocent enough, and that's a good start, but it's not quite enough. if the OP's OL is insecure about other females riding pillion, the OP should realize and respect this. the flip side, though, is that the OL should also give the OP the benefit of the doubt and not fly off the handle, particularly if he was being forthcoming about the whole situation. so, everyone could stand some improvement.
tangential comments:
having someone ride with you *is* intimite. if you say it isn't, i ask you this: would you let a same-sex person ride behind you? (insert obligatory Pulp Fiction "would you give a man a foot massage" reference here.) i agree, it's not as bad as sharing a bed or anything, but it's certainly more intimate than a friendly hug, even if there are no intentions behind it.
and let's be honest here, a lot of guys use the bike as a ploy to pick up chicks (in every sense of the phrase), and chicks arent always riding pillion just to feel the wind in their hair. alterior motives occur often enough to be a legitimate concern for couples.
OP, you said your wife hates the bike. that might be a part of this also. anything you do thats associated with riding is automatically going to be villified by her, so naturally anything you do with another *female* while riding is going to come across even worse. im not saying it's right of her to be like that, but you should be aware of it.
#72
08-12-2010, 08:25 AM
Good Gawd! You're lucky!! I can't even get my wife and either of my kids to ride on the back of my Streetglide. They all tell me that the seat is too uncomfortable. Wife bought her own ride and that's a good thing.
Honestly, 21 years of happily being married, giving a ride to someone else would not bother her at all. It's all about building trust.
Honestly, 21 years of happily being married, giving a ride to someone else would not bother her at all. It's all about building trust.
#73
08-12-2010, 08:28 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
I have a rule--nobody gets on my bike unless they've been or are gonna be in my bed,too. I mean;what's the point? I did meet an old friend (chick) last summer at a bike fest. Was with my GF who has her own RoadKing, And I gave the chick a ride with my GF behind us on her bike. She said it made her kinda jealous to see the other girl on my sled. Good to keep 'em on their toes--keeps 'em in line!
#74
08-12-2010, 08:35 AM
Friend of mine just got a new bike, his wife told him there better not be anyone's butt on the back seat but hers. Apparently she refused to ride with him on his previous bike because too many rear ends of other females had been on that seat. The only two females that have been on the back of my bike are my wife and my oldest daughter, don't need another reason for my Mrs. to get mad at me...
#75
08-12-2010, 08:39 AM
My wife even knows when someone else sits in my car.... Wouldn't ever think of allowing another woman on the back of my bike without written consent and releases of all arguments in advance from the wife!
#76
08-12-2010, 08:48 AM
Even though my wife refuses to ride with me (never has and never will), I'm sure she'd **** a purple brick if she discovered I had another woman on the back of the bike. Of course, there's the issue of living in a helmet state; I couldn't exactly explain away why I'm carrying around a second helmet. Not that I would ever do anything like that...
Last edited by inswva; 08-12-2010 at 09:47 AM.
#77
08-12-2010, 08:49 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
It would probably help if you took that sticker off the fender that says "*** or Gas - No free rides".
#78
08-12-2010, 08:51 AM
I have already explained this situation to the wifey. If she's not tagging along on a road trip with a group, it frequently happens that I'll be approached by some guy that says his wife/gf/old lady wants to ride as the passenger. (Hey, the touring models do have very nice seats!)
She has absolutely no issue with this. Sorry some of the gals are a bit insecure but I'm glad my wife isn't!
She has absolutely no issue with this. Sorry some of the gals are a bit insecure but I'm glad my wife isn't!
All about trust.
#79
08-12-2010, 08:53 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
ditto.I've earned the male chauvinist label she's pinned on me.Not proud of it but my life my way unless the law is involved.I hate riding any one.
