Met A "Real Biker" Today
#22
11-12-2008, 01:04 AM
Sorry I am late, but my shovel broke down. Now, what was this about again?
Oh, never mind. Let me tell ya what happenend on the way back from the "Cash N Flash" strip club. I was rollin' along, jus' singin' a song, when this ol' fart was lolligaggin' along on his frikkin' suitcase with this magic spacesuit on. I blow by him, cause I gots to keep the hammer down B4 I run outta oil in the ol' gurl, and he's holdin up the whole show. The bonehead WAVES at me, like he's ridin' a Hondorific or a Yamasaki or some other trinket. The devil his-self wouldn't be caught dead on one of those dammt things. So I gave him the 'salute' as I streaked on by.
Anywho, the ol' shovel takes a crap. And here he comes, AGAIN. He pulls up next to me and the ol' gurl, and asks if'n he can help. The ol' fart looks like he's 'bout ready to check out of this planet, and onto never, never land. I was thinkin' 'liability' and investigation if this ol' dude has a major whilst parked next to me, and I certainly don't need that kinda grief right 'bout then. So I jus' told him to keep on rollin' and get to bed, he obviously needed ALL the dammt BEAUTY sleep he could get. I mean to tell you guys, this guy could make a mud fence cry. He didn't get hit with the ugly stick, the WHOLE tree must've fallen on him.
He proceeds to pull into MY GIRLFRIENDS driveway. That was the last straw. I poured in a couple of quarts, and blew outta there like a snowflake blowing cross that wasteland Dakota. Gawd, ya gotta wonder where some of these RUBs come from nowadays.
Other than that, had a real decent putt. Ya ride a ways, and wrench a while. Man, I really N JOY that ol' shovel.
And now that oil is down to $60/barrel, plannin' a run up the ALCAN on the ol' gurl.
Oh, never mind. Let me tell ya what happenend on the way back from the "Cash N Flash" strip club. I was rollin' along, jus' singin' a song, when this ol' fart was lolligaggin' along on his frikkin' suitcase with this magic spacesuit on. I blow by him, cause I gots to keep the hammer down B4 I run outta oil in the ol' gurl, and he's holdin up the whole show. The bonehead WAVES at me, like he's ridin' a Hondorific or a Yamasaki or some other trinket. The devil his-self wouldn't be caught dead on one of those dammt things. So I gave him the 'salute' as I streaked on by.
Anywho, the ol' shovel takes a crap. And here he comes, AGAIN. He pulls up next to me and the ol' gurl, and asks if'n he can help. The ol' fart looks like he's 'bout ready to check out of this planet, and onto never, never land. I was thinkin' 'liability' and investigation if this ol' dude has a major whilst parked next to me, and I certainly don't need that kinda grief right 'bout then. So I jus' told him to keep on rollin' and get to bed, he obviously needed ALL the dammt BEAUTY sleep he could get. I mean to tell you guys, this guy could make a mud fence cry. He didn't get hit with the ugly stick, the WHOLE tree must've fallen on him.
He proceeds to pull into MY GIRLFRIENDS driveway. That was the last straw. I poured in a couple of quarts, and blew outta there like a snowflake blowing cross that wasteland Dakota. Gawd, ya gotta wonder where some of these RUBs come from nowadays.
Other than that, had a real decent putt. Ya ride a ways, and wrench a while. Man, I really N JOY that ol' shovel.
And now that oil is down to $60/barrel, plannin' a run up the ALCAN on the ol' gurl.
#23
11-12-2008, 01:18 AM
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This reminds me of all the stories that EasyRider Magazine used to have in every issue during the 70s and 80s. They along with Miraculous ***** were discontinued in the 90s along with " Beaver furr" on the models.
Many of the stories were of these hard core, don't own a 4 wheeler, wife or job, just me and my trusty chopper, alas there was always some chick to help out the dick somehow ( guess how?) Anyhow, it was entertaining, cause bikers were indeed different in those days, so the dreams were different for us riders than today.
For example , drinking, fighting and a different female as often as possible was what happened. ( Penicillin !!! Duh yeah) no aids though.
Good story, if it happened, you seen a ghost!!!
Many of the stories were of these hard core, don't own a 4 wheeler, wife or job, just me and my trusty chopper, alas there was always some chick to help out the dick somehow ( guess how?) Anyhow, it was entertaining, cause bikers were indeed different in those days, so the dreams were different for us riders than today.
For example , drinking, fighting and a different female as often as possible was what happened. ( Penicillin !!! Duh yeah) no aids though.
Good story, if it happened, you seen a ghost!!!
#24
11-12-2008, 04:29 AM
Yep been ridin' thirty seven years and met a "Real Biker" today ..
Comin home from work on Bagger , stereo cranking out the oldies , FullFace on , was cold at midnite going to work , and I aint out to impress anyone ..
Ratted out Shovel passes me , both cylinder head gaskets pouring out oil , sounded really sick , "Real Biker" wearing his novelty helmet , looking bad ..
Give him a waist level wave as he passes , he returns with a "you're No.1" gesture ..
I live a couple miles outta town , and there is a real wide shoulder across from my house , well , wouldnt ya know it , ole Billy B.A. is parked there , broke down ..
I pull over to see if'n I can help , get cursed out , so I pop it in first and cross the road and park Bagger ...
Takes all kinds I reckon ..
Comin home from work on Bagger , stereo cranking out the oldies , FullFace on , was cold at midnite going to work , and I aint out to impress anyone ..
Ratted out Shovel passes me , both cylinder head gaskets pouring out oil , sounded really sick , "Real Biker" wearing his novelty helmet , looking bad ..
Give him a waist level wave as he passes , he returns with a "you're No.1" gesture ..
I live a couple miles outta town , and there is a real wide shoulder across from my house , well , wouldnt ya know it , ole Billy B.A. is parked there , broke down ..
I pull over to see if'n I can help , get cursed out , so I pop it in first and cross the road and park Bagger ...
Takes all kinds I reckon ..
#25
11-12-2008, 06:26 AM
We used to have a biker club house in our town years ago.One day on my way home from work i noticed one of them trying to kick start his Sportster.He had been kicking a long time,so during one of his catch his breath breaks,i asked if I could help.He bellowed back F_ _ _ Off! As I got ready to kick mine over,he asked if I would go to the club house and tell the prez to come get him.The prez says F_ _ _ him he is an A-hole! Tthat got a smile.
#27
11-12-2008, 06:39 AM
Sorry I am late, but my shovel broke down. Now, what was this about again?
Oh, never mind. Let me tell ya what happenend on the way back from the "Cash N Flash" strip club. I was rollin' along, jus' singin' a song, when this ol' fart was lolligaggin' along on his frikkin' suitcase with this magic spacesuit on. I blow by him, cause I gots to keep the hammer down B4 I run outta oil in the ol' gurl, and he's holdin up the whole show. The bonehead WAVES at me, like he's ridin' a Hondorific or a Yamasaki or some other trinket. The devil his-self wouldn't be caught dead on one of those dammt things. So I gave him the 'salute' as I streaked on by.
Anywho, the ol' shovel takes a crap. And here he comes, AGAIN. He pulls up next to me and the ol' gurl, and asks if'n he can help. The ol' fart looks like he's 'bout ready to check out of this planet, and onto never, never land. I was thinkin' 'liability' and investigation if this ol' dude has a major whilst parked next to me, and I certainly don't need that kinda grief right 'bout then. So I jus' told him to keep on rollin' and get to bed, he obviously needed ALL the dammt BEAUTY sleep he could get. I mean to tell you guys, this guy could make a mud fence cry. He didn't get hit with the ugly stick, the WHOLE tree must've fallen on him.
He proceeds to pull into MY GIRLFRIENDS driveway. That was the last straw. I poured in a couple of quarts, and blew outta there like a snowflake blowing cross that wasteland Dakota. Gawd, ya gotta wonder where some of these RUBs come from nowadays.
Other than that, had a real decent putt. Ya ride a ways, and wrench a while. Man, I really N JOY that ol' shovel.
And now that oil is down to $60/barrel, plannin' a run up the ALCAN on the ol' gurl.
Oh, never mind. Let me tell ya what happenend on the way back from the "Cash N Flash" strip club. I was rollin' along, jus' singin' a song, when this ol' fart was lolligaggin' along on his frikkin' suitcase with this magic spacesuit on. I blow by him, cause I gots to keep the hammer down B4 I run outta oil in the ol' gurl, and he's holdin up the whole show. The bonehead WAVES at me, like he's ridin' a Hondorific or a Yamasaki or some other trinket. The devil his-self wouldn't be caught dead on one of those dammt things. So I gave him the 'salute' as I streaked on by.
Anywho, the ol' shovel takes a crap. And here he comes, AGAIN. He pulls up next to me and the ol' gurl, and asks if'n he can help. The ol' fart looks like he's 'bout ready to check out of this planet, and onto never, never land. I was thinkin' 'liability' and investigation if this ol' dude has a major whilst parked next to me, and I certainly don't need that kinda grief right 'bout then. So I jus' told him to keep on rollin' and get to bed, he obviously needed ALL the dammt BEAUTY sleep he could get. I mean to tell you guys, this guy could make a mud fence cry. He didn't get hit with the ugly stick, the WHOLE tree must've fallen on him.
He proceeds to pull into MY GIRLFRIENDS driveway. That was the last straw. I poured in a couple of quarts, and blew outta there like a snowflake blowing cross that wasteland Dakota. Gawd, ya gotta wonder where some of these RUBs come from nowadays.
Other than that, had a real decent putt. Ya ride a ways, and wrench a while. Man, I really N JOY that ol' shovel.
And now that oil is down to $60/barrel, plannin' a run up the ALCAN on the ol' gurl.
That is some funny chit Gumpy. Kinda makes you wonder a little... hehehe
#28
11-12-2008, 06:41 AM
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#29
11-12-2008, 09:07 AM
#30
11-12-2008, 08:58 PM
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BUT she had to "ride facing backwards" in order to get ALL her equipment on board.
