dude pulls up to the toll booth on his old AMF beater,,,
attendant says $13.50.....................
Biker looks,,,,,thinks,,, replys....... SOLD!!!

 

Hey! mines yellow, I better go check and make sure it does'nt say Cat on it

 

Doctor goes to his H-D dealer to pick up his bike and gets in a conversation with the mechanic. The mechanic says "Doc- what's your specialty and how much did you make last year?"

Doctor tells him he's a cardiac surgeon, and he made $1.2 million last year.

Mechanic points a the Doctor's bike and says, "Doc, I've been to all the schools that H-D has, and that engine is about the most complicated piece of technologically advanced engine on the road, and I can take it apart, improve it, and put it back together. Maybe I should be making $1.2 million a year- your job is no more complex than mine"

Doc smiles and says- "Maybe so, but do what I do andtry and repairthat engine while it's running and maybe you will make that much".

 

How can you double the value of your Harley....just fill he tank!

 

lol

 

I raced a Harley today and after some really hard riding I managed to PASS the guy. I was riding on one of those really, really twisting sections of mountain road with no straight sections to speak of and where most of the bends have warning signs that say "MAX SPEED 50 KPH".

I knew if I was going to pass one of those monsters with those big-cubic-inch motors, it would have to be a place like this where handling and rider skill are more important than horsepower alone.

I saw the guy up ahead as I exited one of the turns and knew I could catch him, but it wouldn't be easy. I concentrated on my braking and cornering. Three corners later, I was on his mudguard. Catching him was one thing; passing him would prove to be another.

Two corners later, I pulled up next to him as we sailed down the mountain. I think he was shocked to see me next to him, as I nearly got by him before he could recover. Next corner, same thing. I'd manage to pull up next to him as we started to enter the corners but when we came out he'd get on the throttle and out-power me. His horsepower was almost too much to overcome, but this only made me more determined than ever.

My only hope was to out-brake him. I held off squeezing the lever until the last instant. I kept my nerve while he lost his. In an instant I was by him. Corner after corner, I could hear the roar of his engine as he struggled to keep up. Three more miles to go before the road straightens out and he would pass me for good.

But now I was in the lead and he would no longer hold me back. I stretched out my lead and by the time we reached the bottom of the canyon, he was more than a full corner behind. I could no longer see him in my rear-view mirror.

Once the road did straighten out, it seemed like it took miles before he passed me, but it was probably just a few hundred yards. I was no match for that kind of horsepower, but it was done. In the tightest section of road, where bravery and skill count for more than horsepower and deep pockets, I had passed him. Though it was not easy, I had won the race to the bottom of the mountain and I had preserved the proud tradition of one of the best bits of Brit iron.

I will always remember that moment. I don't think I've ever pedaled so hard in my life. And, some of the credit must go to Raleigh cycles, as well. They really make a great bicycle...

 

What do a Harley and a hemorrhoid have in common?

Sooner or later, every azzhole gets one!

 

How do you compliment a "Harley Chick"?

NICE TOOTH!

 

Five harley riders are sitting at a table in the local bar when an old guy walks in and points at the biggest one and says "YOUR MOTHERS THE BEST LAY IN TOWN!".Stunned silence follows as the four buddies look at their friend.He just calmly sits and sips a beer.The old guy meanwhile has had a few more drinks at the bar and walks back to their table and shouts at the big biker "I'M GOING BACK FOR SECONDS!".The big harley rider stands up and screams at the old guy "DAD YOUR DRUNK,GO HOME!"

 

A reporter is asked to do an article about old bikers and bikers lifestyle impact on longevity. So he goes to a notorious biker's bar, spots the eldest of the patrons, a white bearded decrepit guy, old, crooked and weatherbeaten in the extreme. He buys him a beer and asks if he can interview him.
- Sure as hell, pal. For a beer I'll tell you anything you want to know.
- Well, where to start? Safety, for example: surely a man like you has been a very careful rider, I guess... - asks the reporter
- Not at all - answers the biker - I always rode like I stole it, full throttle, night or day, city or open country, mountain or wide plains, shine or rain, even snow.
- Wow... - the reporter is truly impressed. - then you surely didn't abuse alcohol
- Absolutely, I've drunk anything God has put on earth, from beer to anti-freeze, been drunk as a monkey half the time in my life.
- Uh... no drugs?
- Eh! - grins the biker - when I wasn't drunk I was so stoned I couldn't tell up from down... Did 'em all: dope, meth, heroin, cocain, lisergic, peyote... name one, I've tried it.
- Surely then you refrained from women!
- I've been ****ing since I was twelve. Girls, ******, two, even three at a time, sometimes while ridin'!
- Holy crap! - the reporter can't believe what he's heard. - well... it really seems that the Biker Lifestyle doesn't detract to longevity, after all... how old are you, exactly?
- Twenty-eight.