Ok – I’m sure this may involve some heated issues…

Executive Summary:

My wife wants tostart riding. I prefer her not to ride.

Detailed Analysis:

My wife is taking themotorcycle safetyrider course in January. We both are really excited about the possibility of us riding together and experiencing the far off horizons on a couple of beautiful machines!!

However - as I am faced with the understanding that she wants to enter an activity that is considered high risk, I am starting to feel like I would prefer her not to ride. Of course I ride and she is ok with that. And I should be OK with her wanting to ride. But I’m just not there yet.

I think I am resisting for selfish reasons. I am having trouble imagining my life if something happened to her. I’d be extremely distraught truth be told.

I don’t believe my wife and I have ever sat down and discussed the risks involved with my riding and certainly we have not yet discussed the risks if she takes up the sport. I think this is a conversation we need to have .. about both of us riding.

We don’t have any children so we don’t have this factoring into our risk taking.

I know she would love riding. I love to ride. She should be able to do what makes her happy. I’m able to do what makes me happy. Right?

Do I just swallow my fears and ‘let’ her ride? Oh boy – wait I don’t really control her and I shouldn’t.

Has anybody gone through this before with a spouse?

Thanks
Scott

[&:]

 

Man, I was thrilled when my wife decided to start riding. However, we approached it safely. She got a bike she could easily manage, she took the motorcycle safety course and we practiced a ton. I never put her in a position where she was out of her comfort zone. Now, she's a proficient rider, has progressed to an incredible bikeand we log probably 8,000 miles a year.

 

Ask the real bikers for some help with there riding. They just call it fun.

 

My wife wanted to ride, and I encouraged her to take the rider course. She took the course, and decided that she didn't want to be "in control"; that she'd rather be the passenger. I was disappointed, but it was her decision and I respect that.

She and I have discussed the risks involved. She is fully aware of the risks. I was flattened by a Ford pickup that rearended me many, many years ago, so I know the risks first hand. Discuss the risks with her.

Whatever her decisio is, support her with it.

 

I was thrilled when my wife wantedto ride her own Harley.............she bought the Sportster andwent throughthe MSR program here at our local dealer and has become a good safe rider. I still get a sinking feeling when we are out together riding if Ithink about her possibly getting hit by a cage.............it would be unbearable to see my best friend and the woman I love put down.............we both know the risks and accept them.......

 

My wife took the class and started learning about two months after I got my bike. She was sick of waiting for me to learn so she could hop on back .She learned how to ride herself.

Yeah, I was nervous at first. She's not as agile as me nor as mechanically inclined. But the good thing was that I just went through the learning experience and could pass on all of the knowledge I learned since it was fresh in my mind. Basically, she learned from my mistakes. Plus, she had me to take her out and practice with.

Now, she's my best riding partner.

 

I ride my own. My hubby has similar fears...but coming from someone who loves to ride himself, it's kinda hypocritical.

Both of us share concern for each other, as well as our selves. That's a natural tendancy. But, when faced with the dangersofriding a motorcycle, you only have to stand back a look at the big picture.

We all take risks, everyday. Getting into or out of the shower in the morning..RISK of slipping and falling! Walking down the stairs ...RISK, again of slipping and falling! Eating a bowl of cereal ... RISK of choking! Rushing out the door to get into the car ... RISK, of tripping over the dern kids toys left on the sidewalk. Backing out ofthedriveway ... RISK, of getting sideswiped by a speeding car. Driving down the freeway ...RISK...Self explanitory.Slowing down, Blinker on, and making a turn into the driveway of the place where we work ...RISK, of getting rear ended. There 7 risks taken of which each one seperately could result in serious injury or worse...and it's not even 9 am.

We all take risks. You have alreadyeducated yourself well enough to be able to get on your bike and embark on an adventure (even if it's just going to the corner store to pick up milk). It's a choice you have made.Prepare and protect yourselves with a good qualilty understanding of how to handle and take the risks out there in the cruel world. Live your life breathing and enjoying every minute. What's the alternative ... Become so paranoid that you will never take a chance? Hardley..that's just not living!

It's not the years in your life that matters ... but, the life in your years!
Be smart about it, and drive as if everyone is out to get you...Then you'll be just fine.

 

not that I question your reasons . however like most men I think maybe it has nothing to do with safety more about controll we are all a little chovanistic in ways I have a friend who's wife want to ride and he comes up with the expence and safety cards yet he is the one that has fallen off his bike and he is the one that continues to buy toys. I tried to put my wife on all kinds of bikes and she kept crashing (slow speed ) she decided long before me that she would just be a passenger .. I just think most men are afraid of the little women riding her own for more than safety reasons.. JMHO but then I'm old so who cares..

 

I'm wondering if you've told her your fears. I don't think she would stop the process because you feel that way, but she may make you feel less fearful with her answers. I believe people that consider taking on this great lifestyle are a different breed. They probably already take risks in their lives! And they know the risk of this lifestyle. And I'm sure your wife knows the risks. If she is excited about it then she wants it.

I can tell you from my experience that women are inherently more cautious with this lifestyle. Men will just get out there and bam, they are not afraid of anything, women(not all) are a little more aware of the dangers, therefore more cautious and in fact I think this makes them good, safe riders. I worry less about the women I ride with then the men!

She might even take the course and decide it is not for her. But if she does and loves it, support her. A wife denied is not a happy situation!! I'm sure you know that!

I hope she does love it and you both have many years of great rides together. There is nothing like it.

 

My wife had a hard time when it was time for our boys to get on a street bike. She looked for my support, but with owning a cycle store it was hard to not let the boys ride.I made it clear that they would have to do some riding with me before they went solo. She got over it until she seen that the boys became stunters. This happened in Daytona as both of my boys blew by on one wheel clicking their heels......needless to say she was banging on my back like I was in control.

As far as my wife riding, I'd prefer her as a passenger.She makes a nice back rest