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"Well, if I was doing 20 miles over the speed limit, you had to have been doing at least 20 miles over the limit to catch me. So how about you let me go and I won't tell anyone?"

"I'll take my chances, sign your ticket."

 

My Uncle Mike who was CCAU(Career Criminal Apprehension Unit) at the time,,,,went to a perps house as the Fed Ex guy.Rang the bell & perp comes down,see's said Fed Ex man & opens the door.Uncle says "please sign here" & as the perp signs snares the cuffs on him.My uncle tells the perp he's being arrested for multiple warrents for his arrest.The perp starts yelling at my uncle,,,,,,claims he ain't leaving without his package."What package" my uncle fumes back,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,"the package you made me sign for".

 

Stopped a guy on NW 10th Street in Oklahoma City back in the 80s ... he was doing 55 in a 35. "Sorry officer, I was at the strip club and I ran out of cash. I ran to an ATM machine and was trying to get back before they closed."

Can't say it was the lamest excuse ... especially since he blew a .18 BAC. Needless to say he didn't make it back to the club that night.

 

When I was younger I got pulled over by a woman police officer for Exibation of acceleration. I slid my camaro sideways in first and second gear. Well she pulled into my driveway to talk about my recent stupid behavior and the best I could come up with was "my foot sliipped off the clutch"
She responded with "in first and second gear"
then I responded with "just give me the ticket"
Later found out while eating with some other cops at like 3 in the morning (drunk)at a truck stop later that I would have probally got off if I would have just been honest because she drag races and is usally cool to people with hot rods.

lessoned learned - now I brutally honest with cops and I like that better because they are really taking back when people are totally honest and upfront with them.
Jeff

 

About 5 years ago I was working patrol in an outer township contract area, when I heard this Roar from a muscle type car. I was a bike guy and a gear head long before I was a LEO, so I actually followed the sound, tire marks, and smell of burnt rubber and racing fuel. Now I'm down the road about 2 miles, I see a nice long posi-patch, smell the fuel again, and follow the tracks. Another mile or so down the road I see this guy in an Anglia, tubbed and this engine is just thumping. I pull him over and he just sits there shaking his head. "Officer I, I, I,...." "Save it sir. Out of the car. Now pop the hood, I've got to see what you have in there!" A blown Hemi, in an Anglia (little English car). The guy was pretty suprised, he showed me the car, and I told him to save me a spot downtown at our local cruise we have once a year. He was on his way, and I was too, just had to go get my car. I show up downtown, my spot was waiting, and we had a great night laughing it up!

Woody

 

My high school friend is a policeman in a small town in NY State.
He pulls over a speeder....and hears the "Have have to pee REAL bad officer!"
line.
My friend.....loking for the RIGHT response asks "How badly do you have to
****?" The speeder....I guess knoing what he had to do.....tries to, and then pisses
his pants.
My frind, Louie.....says "Are you ok to drive? Yes? No need to speed now,
is there?"
Saved the guy from a ticket and points though.

 

I clocked a Corvette doing 75 in a 55 in construction zone on the interstate once. I pulled out to stop him and he took off. Now, that 'vette may be able to outrun my Crown Vic, but it ain't outrunning my Motorola. Two troopers were waiting on him at the next exit and he pulled over. When I got there I walked up and asked him why he ran from me. "Well officer, my wife ran off with a cop about 3 months ago and I was afraid it might have been you trying to bring her back."

 

My favorite? Why were you going 20 over the speed limit. Answer: I am not from here.............

My answer: Sooooo, the speed limit signs are different where you are from?

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