no
no

the winyas are all yours. i can't take bribes. (i really can, meet me behind the canteen after dark) Peeeeoooooooowwww.......... oooops! where am i going? I still have more replies below


yes

autographs are granted

kindly see the above post regarding autographs

but since i know u so well dePrtyrewew, your check needs to be certified, witnessed, and hand delivered. "It's in the mail." <-- does not fly

so in your case me bRuva, it will not bounce or fly.

There is a HUGE smile on 'me face. Ok.........we just did the S Florida Fairgounds Parade again. WICKED GREAT! I was banned from riding due to a medical condition but I was just CLEARED a few days ago.

When I schedule them, I will link you back in to the listings..............HEY WAIT ............. you will ride with me now since I am a mod? Awwwwe, I could never say no to you. I LOVE UKL I LOVE UKL I LOVE UKL!!! A-ok!

Ok Mister Funnie Guy BD................VERY FUNI! THANK YOU my friend............I really do appreciate that. ([said in a quiet tone mumbling]I will get you back later.)

Oh sure...............why don't you tell them the WHOLE story?!?!

1. I had to pay you guys $500 for the auto boost to MOD level.

2. I (me.....the NEWBEE) have to sweep the floors behind the scenes.

3. Clean out the litter box. And I don't even care for cats.

4. Open early and make the coffee.

5. Close up late, late being around 1AM. And empty the coffee machine.

6. Re-stock both vending machines. (No P'nut M&M's? Really?)

25. And clean up the piddle/pooping up on the 44th floor (as noted earlier above). I AINT CLEANIN'N THAT UP! Ok, I will clean that up since it was me that, ah, well, hmmmmm, let's 'juss say I will clean it up.

(I made the above one "25" so it looked like I am busier than I really am and maybe get some sympathy around here.) HUH! Yeah right!

Thank you Mr. Wizard. (You were obviously not named by your wife.)

Sorry, sorry, that just slipped out. I will behave.

Thank you Mr. Wizard

​​​​​​​ Peeeeoooooooowwww..........

 

​​​​​​​Hey! There are water spots on my bike! What did I tell you about water spots? Jeez!

 

S-003, would u pls point out those water spots to me? Is that your bike over there to the left? Peeeeoooooooowwww..........

 

Woop Woop for ya Buzzy

 

Thank you my friend.............TY!!

 

I know with all of this MOM stuff ‘n MOD stuff going on, there are a few questions about what it looks like behind the scenes…..here is what I am finding...

The building is huge and divided into the east and west wings with a mega-HUGE rotunda in the middle connecting the wings.

You need to have one of those hanging lanyard and placard around your neck to enter the HDF ADMIN & MODERATOR COMPLEX. Ironically, b4 you can get into the building there are 2 security doors guarded by (get this) retired Honda Gold Wing riders. Go figure.

When you enter the rotunda, it is totally empty. You cannot speak bcs the echo is so loud it hurts your ears.

If you turn to the right, that wing (the east wing) on the right appears to be empty. But there is a sign near the double doors that says the hours are 9:00 PM to 4:00 AM. I know….odd hours.

To the left of the large mahogany double doors there are vending machines. Oddly, there isn’t any food in them. I took a closer look and I say leather products, police cuffs, an assortment of KY products with and without flavors, 8 different kinds of feathers, a red ball with straps, a large selection of assorted batteries that would make Duracell jealous, etc….

I do not have access to that wing. Or at least not yet. At night when I rode by I saw from a distance flashing lights and a LOT LOT LOT of bikes all over the place and an intense smell of weed. A Coors, Guinness, Heineken, and a Budweiser truck outside. Bud? Really? Oy!

I don’t get it but……….ok………..

If you enter the rotunda, and go left to the west wing, you enter a huge mahogany door there, there is a wide and long corridor.

As you walk down the corridor, you are stepping on a red spongy, very plush carpet. Now that is classy.

The 1st door on the right leads to a large 32’ X 64’ room that is ALL PINK and has a 6” green band around the middle. A long counter with swivel stools. Pretty actually.

On the wall is about 200+ different types of ice creams you can have all FREE! Unlimited. There were likely 170 – 200 Admins and MODers in there. All very friendly and happy. (Personally I think they are all waiting for the east wing to open up but…….I do not judge.)

I did see IzzoQ in there. I can’t tell you what HE was wearing since this is my 1st day on the job and………..well, you know. I would like to be a MODer for a long time. But I can tell you this….all that stuff you see IzzoQ post that make us all want to vomit...…well, those are PIXs of him. ‘just say’n.....

Directly across the hall from the ice cream parlor is another huge room with likely 150+ types of gym equipment. You name it, and they have it. I think HDF has unlimited funds. Honestly.

I went up to several pieces of equipment and noticed, about 1/3 of them are still in their original wrappings and never used and the balance have 1/3” of dust on it.

As you continue down the hallway, the next door on the right said “G-ds Office”. Huh. That was peculiar. We are not supposed to talk religion kinda stuff. I turned the handle and peeked in. There were large corporate looking commissioned paintings on the wall all over the place. On the massive wooden desk (cherry wood I think) there was a name plate. It said, “Mr. Wizard”. And there was a guy behind the desk dropped over the desk sleeping.

As a courtesy, I went around to where Mr. Wizard was sleeping on his desk and slowly and quietly removed a bottle of Jack Daniels from his hand so it would not spill over. I took a swig….well, I tired to take a swig but it was empty. I put the bottle back down on the desk safely away from his arms, tiptoed around the 11 empties on the floor and left the room closing the door gingerly.

Further down the hallway I saw a sign that said “Sarah’s Place”. That piqued my interest. I opened the double doors leading to “Sarah’s Place” and saw the BIGGEST M’Fer shooting gallery in my life. It is deceptive from outside the building, but when you are inside and enter this shooting gallery, it is about ¼ mile LONG!!!! There were paper and electronic targets. The most advance shooting gallery I have ever seen.

At the very, very end of the shooting gallery there were people running around frantically. I asked why those people are running around frantically and was told by the Range Master, they are live targets. I said, you mean REAL people? He said yes, of course. S-003 would not have anything less. The live targets aka frantic people are members that were banned and trolls that were caught. Ohhhhh.

There was 1 other room I forgot to mention to you. It says “Comptrollers Office”. When you enter this room it is rather small. Maybe 8’ X 8’. The wall right in front of you is all white. And nothing on it. The wall to the right has 1 Simplex machine where you clock in to start your Admin or Mod shift, Ok cool. Over the Simple machine it says “Clock In HERE”. Simple enough.

On the opposite there is another Simplex machine and over it, it says “Clock Out HERE”. Well, you can’t clock out since the machine is a 3D picture. There is no place to slide your time card into it. But there were maybe about 200 boxes of free NoDoz pills for the taking as needed. There was another sign that said, "If You Have A Problem Clocking Out - See The Range Master".

I feel remiss if I do not share a few more things with you.

1. When you (if you) ever enter this building, be sure NOT to look at the Clown in the rotunda. Look DOWN at all times. Do NOT look at the Clown in the rotunda. THAT error you will only make once. I am reminded of this due to my permanent limp.

2. During the initiation you will be asked if you would like what is behind door #1 or door #2. PICK DOOR #2. Please, I beg of you, pick DOOR #2! I would tell you what is behind door #1 but I am not out of traction yet and I am typing with 1 finger.

Well, that is pretty much it. I would suggest, if at all possible, attempt to become a MOD. (I have to say that.) Mainly because it appears the EAST wings seems to make it all worth while.

Have Fun Here! Play and Ride Safe!! LOVE YOU ALL!!!!! ENJOY LIFE!!!!

BuzzCap7

 

Buzz, when you sign a contract it is especially important to read it all. All of it. Every page. Both sides. Small print and stuff. The one you signed is for life. Your life. There is only one exit and it is at the end of the Range. That happens to also be the ice rink. I like a challenge. One has to cross 200 yards of polished ice to get to the exit door and then guess the code. Take note however, if you guess the code wrong three times you have to then wait 15 minutes before making another attempt. When I shoot I like to have "Welcome To The Jungle" by Guns-N-Roses playing full blast through those giant speakers. Another note, my personal best is hitting Q-Tips at 200 yards. Coincidence? I think not.

Aww, where's my manners. Here's your fruit basket that all Newbies get. You'll notice the bananas are good and ripe. We never put green bananas in the basket because they take days to ripen and, well, we don't want to waste them now do we?

Welcome! Heh, heh.

 

Public Service Announcement:

Don't **** off Sarah !!

 

ummmmmmmm

errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

i think buzz left the building

via the emergency exit not the downrange door (which i get from a good source [gulp]) is really a mural. Peeeeeooooowwwww............... (<--- no time to add that little car and the drivers smiling face )

 

Congrats Buzz