I know we're guys and most of us don't talk about feeling and emotions.
So here's where I'll start. Regardless of what I state here, this entire situation is tragic, for everyone involved and obviously can't be changed now,
Last week a friend died in a crash. These are the facts from witnesses and the police investigation. He was returning from a visit with his brother, when an oncoming JEEP turned in front of him, he hit the Jeep and the vehicle behind him, hit him from behind. One officer said he died instantly, while a witness said he spoke a few words. Again this is a tragic loss for his family, and friends, as well as the people involved who will now have to live with the fact they caused the death of someone.
Here's where my mixed emotions come in. I'm sad for the loss of a friend, angry about the actions of the others drivers, and perplexed and even a little guilty if perhaps I could have changed it.
The man was 73, slight build, worn from years of construction work, and always smiling and happy. 8 years ago we took a trip together, with a group and I noticed he did not keep up with the group and would get caught at lights, and have cars and trucks on his *** and leave gaps that allowed people to pass, cutting into the group. I tried riding behind him and urging to keep up, but it didn't work. He also had several breakdowns and mechanical issues, because he didn't maintain his stuff and didn't want to spend the money to do it. A few more rides over the next couple of years and even my wife said she was glad i stayed ahead of him or had bikes between us. About 5 years ago it got to the point we and another couple quit riding with that group if he was riding. We discussed his riding skills, reaction time, and how it affected everyone around him. I talked with him a little and my wife spoke with his wife (one of her best friends and a bridesmaid in our wedding) neither saw a real issue with his riding as a safety issue.
Since that time he obviously continued to ride, but his wife stopped riding with him a couple of years ago.
I've actually passed him and waved and not been sure he saw me.
Back to now, the Jeep was wrong, and it looks like the vehicle behind him was following too close. Investigation showed he only had a very short skid mark.
He's was a man and it was certainly not my place to tell him how to run his life, but I'm left wondering if he should have still been riding and if I or as a group we should have been more vocal about our concerns.
I still know I would rather go that way, than suffering in a bed or loosing all my physical or mental abilities.
Like I stated, this whole thing is tragic, just not sure it had to be.

 

And you are probably not sure that even someone on top of his game would have fared any differently either.

It just may be that his time was up.

Tragic for all involved, don't punish yourself over something that you could not control the outcome.

May your friend RIP, condolences to ALL of you left behind.
Keep good memories of your friend, something that we all hope to do.

 

So sorry for your loss. They really are out there trying to kill you.

 

It's probably human nature to second guess yourself after the loss of a friend under those circumstances. In my opinion part of the riding experience is the independence and not necessarily always playing by someone else's rules.
He did what he did. He rode the way he rode. And at 73 years old I'd guess that it was very likely that the opinions of you or anyone else voiced to him would be unlikely to change anything.
Grieve, take some knowledge from the situation to better protect yourself from such an incident in the future and don't beat yourself up over this too much.

 

Dang that was tough to read, cause i know how the people feel, the ones that lost, and the ones that caused the loss. As for you, STop beating your self up over it! You could not have changed the outcome no matter what, because He was still in control of his throttle and breaks and handlebars at the tome of the accident, not you. If one of my 2 best friends told me I had to stop riding I would laugh in their face, My own wife new better than try to get me to stop riding after my close to fatal motorcycle wreck. I hope your friend rest in peace, and I pray that his family has the strength to carry on in their time of devastation, and mourning.

 

Thanks. I'm not beating myself up as much as just all the thoughts, and what ifs. Just another reminder of our mortality and each and every life decision. Brings me to my own realities and wondering when and if I'll recognize when or if it's time to hang it up. Lost a good friend at 18 and that was the toughest of all over the years. I had been with him trying to convince his mom he should have a bike and he was wearing one of my helmets when he crashed, one vehicle accident, high speed and alcohol. I sold my bike after that and didn't ride for about a year.
I realize it's the world we live in and Izzo is right, I ride like they're all out to get me.

 

 

I look at it as a death- it could have been jogging, climbing, skydiving, etc...
Everything happens for a reason, if nothing else as an example to learn from.
RIP

 

You tried. You reached out and so did your wife. Have no second thoughts. Had you been silent and not made your opinion known. Then, yes you could beat yourself up a little. But that's not the case. Mourn the loss of your friend. It try to remember the days when he was on his game and yall had fun.

I lost a friend to whiskey. No he's not dead. But my friend is. And he wont talk to me because I called him out on it. If he dies a drunk I know I said my mind. I will and do miss him now. If ya catch what I'm saying. It's all relative.

you did the right thing then. No need to suffer now.

 

Sorry for the loss of your friend.

Something has to be done about these vehicles that are just whipping turns into or in front of these motorcycles critically injuring them or killing them. This is happening way to often now. I was killed (clearly revived) last year when a car whipped a left in front of me with both of us going 45 mph. It totaled both vehicles and I died half way to the hospital. He told the police that he saw me and thought he could make it.

What these dumbasses don't understand is that "if you make a mistake" misjudging that you could make this turn safely you are probably going to critically injure or kill the motorcycle rider(or riders). Why is that an acceptable risk for anyone to make?