Lost a friend - Mixed emotions
#11
#12
Having lost friends and known of others who've senselessly lost lives on 2 wheels I've learned a few hard truths first being lose the survivors guilt you are struggling with. You cannot second guess or what if it in anyway that would have changed things. He made his choices, a tragedy yes but honestly nothing you personally could have done would have changed the mans mind much less what happened.
I understand where you're heads at I really do but support his family in anyway you feel you need to and make your own peace with this or it will affect your own riding & habits. Hesitation and and doubt are stone cold killers on a bike in today's world.
I understand where you're heads at I really do but support his family in anyway you feel you need to and make your own peace with this or it will affect your own riding & habits. Hesitation and and doubt are stone cold killers on a bike in today's world.
The following 2 users liked this post by TwiZted Biker:
mctraveler (06-03-2018),
V-Twins & Bowties (09-16-2023)
#14
#15
Very sorry for the loss of your friend, he sounds like a great guy, and passionate about riding. Doubting and questioning yourself are very natural feelings for caring people that have lost a close friend. From my detached perspective I can assure you that you were an exceptional friend to him. You watched over him and tried to guide him to safer situations. I guarantee he would be the last one to question your friendship and efforts to keep him safe. From the first ride on a cycle to the last, we have to ride our own ride and accept the consequences of the enhanced danger of 2 wheels. He accepted the risks and would never in a million years wonder why you didn't do more. Time to ease up on yourself and remember the best times. Get some rest.
#16
Dont beat yourself up. First, its an accident-the only person responsible for the accident is the Jeep driver. No one else.
Second, as others stated-you said your piece to your friend. You cant change someones behavior. Hell, the older we all get, the more set we are in our own ways.
One thing I REALLY wish they would teach in driver's ed-and they dont, at least here in MA-is that MOTORCYCLES ARE EVERYWHERE, and that a fender bender with another car results in minor, or even no, damage-but a fender bender with a motorcycle can kill. They dont teach that here at all-but they can certainly tell you what the blood alcohol content of a white male, 35 years old, 180 lbs, at 3 AM should be (seriously, most of the written tests here are about substance abuse and driving).
On a side note, I really wish they retested drivers every X amount of years in this country. There are a LOT of people who shouldnt be on the road. Not that taking away a DL keeps them from driving-but it may keep SOME people more honest...
Second, as others stated-you said your piece to your friend. You cant change someones behavior. Hell, the older we all get, the more set we are in our own ways.
One thing I REALLY wish they would teach in driver's ed-and they dont, at least here in MA-is that MOTORCYCLES ARE EVERYWHERE, and that a fender bender with another car results in minor, or even no, damage-but a fender bender with a motorcycle can kill. They dont teach that here at all-but they can certainly tell you what the blood alcohol content of a white male, 35 years old, 180 lbs, at 3 AM should be (seriously, most of the written tests here are about substance abuse and driving).
On a side note, I really wish they retested drivers every X amount of years in this country. There are a LOT of people who shouldnt be on the road. Not that taking away a DL keeps them from driving-but it may keep SOME people more honest...
#17
#18
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Southeast Michigan 15 Minutes East Of Hell
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V-Twins & Bowties (09-16-2023)
#19
Sorry for your loss of a friend. I can feel the loss and hurt in your message. He lived as he wanted. I've thought about stuff like this and wonder... would I like to go laying in a hospice bed with the clock counting down or go doing the things I love. Maybe he thought about that also.
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Rob
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Rob
#20
The older I get the less advice I give to friends. They usually don't listen, and resent you afterwards. At least you tried to help him. I have fought a long time with the state of Wisconsin, trying to restore a 4 year driver's license renewal (I'm an Optometrist). I don't get anywhere, with clueless bureaucrats. There are many drivers with poor vision out there, but inattentive driving is probably the biggest factor.
Sorry about your friend.
Sorry about your friend.