Is this relative just being stubborn or does he have a legitimate reason he don't go over 45mph? I would still go on the ride personally. If he refuses to keep up then just tell him the route with the planned stops. Hope it works out.

 

Ride in town and not on the highway.

 

I ride alone a lot and enjoy it, especially long rides, but I also ride with different friends who all have different styles and comfort zones. On those rides I accept that for the pleasure of their company I'm going to adjust to their needs and limitations. Some have none, some have several. If I felt their limitations were unsafe or a bad fit for me personally I would draw the line and skip the ride.

If the ride is beyond their skill we plan a different ride.

If the upcoming 100 mile ride isn't safe for them, you should tell them. You're not being a jerk. You're looking out for their wellbeing.

Assuming your relative's style is not going to change anytime soon, maybe you can set aside some ride time to spend with this relative on roads that meet his limitations, but still gives you a chance to ride and spend time together that isn't a road hazard.

Hopefully his style will evolve over time.

 

Is he elderly and wealthy and you are his only heir? If so ride with him on Sunday mornings to the Dunken Donut.

If not, be honest and tell him on group rides he should leave early, and you and the group will catch up with him.

Either he is afraid of riding, and should stop, or he is trying to make some obscure point, or he is trying to control you for some weird reason.

Everyone has to ride their own ride.

 

OP

So you are saying that on roads with posted speed limits over 45 mph (highways) he would only ride his bike at most 45 mph? Does your relative drive his car at 45 mph on highways? If he drives all vehicles at 45 mph then he needs to only drive or ride on roads with speed limits less than or equal to 45 mph. If he drives his car at all posted speed limits and only rides his bike at most 45 mph then he's a fool. Sorry, nothing personal about him but I am not into political correctness.

He is either afraid to ride faster in which case he is a danger to himself and others or he is just stubborn.

If he expects others to conform to his riding style than he is unreasonable and if others do that they are fools like him.

You are obviously bothered by his actions. You are in the predicament of being his relative and expected to be more sensitive to him than others. The others in the group could give two ***** about him. You can either cower to his needs, pat him on the head and shove a lollipop in his piehole and tell him "it'll be OK little Johnny" or tell him that the group will ride as they ride and he can keep up if feels up to the challenge. If he doesn't want to do that then it is his loss. You ride with the group and he stays home or he rides alone. Why should you change your ways to accommodate him? Contrary to his (possible) belief, the world doesn't revolve around him.

You asked so I gave my opinion.

 

100% agreed....

 

I've got a long-time friend (~50 yrs) who also bought a bike a couple of years ago (after decades off). He simply won't ride interstate highways, won't go over maybe 55 mph, says he's just not comfortable at speed. I'll ride with him on two-lane back roads around here, but if it's a longer ride with others at higher speeds, I just tell him up front that it's probably not a ride he'll enjoy.

 

Whoa! You're riding with my neighbor? Haha. My neighbor is a great guy, has owned several bikes and is currently buying and flipping Sportsters. He just does not ride very fast and loathes getting on the highway. I will limit how often and how far I ride with him because I ride more aggressive and like to get up to speed quickly and maybe once or twice I (accidentally) have exceeded the speed limit. It's no fun when you have to spend so much time looking in your mirror to see how far back he is, if he is still there...etc. Matter of fact, spending that extra time looking into the mirror distracts from looking at what is in front of you

 

#1 rule should be ride your own ride. You can't force the man out of his comfort zone. He might crash.

You shouldn't have to compromise the enjoyment of your ride. I learned to ride with an experienced friend. It was helpful to follow his lines. He races cars, snowmobiles, motorcycles and is a pilot. I would keep up with him when he was 9 over he speed limit, but if he wanted to take off at 40 mph over the speed limit I met him in the next town. We never discussed it, it was just common sense.

So I would just tell your relative, he should improve his solo skills before riding in a group. Offer to go on a trip with just the two of you, where he can follow your line, and get more comfortable at higher speeds. If he can never ride at the speed limit he should quit riding. He puts himself at risk of being rear ended.

Now I ride mostly by myself. This summer my boys took the HD Basic course. My 32 year old son bought a Suzuki C50, and has 2k miles on it so far. I took my other son (34), on his brothers bike, on a 90 mile trip. He followed me perfectly at the 55 mph speed limit, and even up to 5 mph over. It was his first time riding after the course and I was nervous, but he did fine. Much better than his first bicycle ride.

 

Like George said, when I ride alone, I prefer to be by myself. Oh wait a sec.....