Wife cries when I ride....This isn't good :(
#61
01-20-2015, 10:17 AM
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She's just going to have to get over it or else *you're* going to cave to *her* feelings and guess who's going to be a miserable SoB the rest of his days and *WILL* resent her somewhere down the line for it.
**** is going to happen. Does she cry when you go to cross the street? You could get hit by a granny lady who sees nor hears a damned thing, or a buss driver who's gone ape-**** for one reason or another. Does she cry when a ŗąǧⱨḝaḓ walks by or in the building you work at? The chances are getting better and better that one will do something in this country all the time.
Tell her to get over it and quit complaining and bite the bullet or you're going to hate her for *guilting* you into doing something you don't want to do - stop riding or only riding like a little kid...around the block so long as mommy can see you.
**** is going to happen. Does she cry when you go to cross the street? You could get hit by a granny lady who sees nor hears a damned thing, or a buss driver who's gone ape-**** for one reason or another. Does she cry when a ŗąǧⱨḝaḓ walks by or in the building you work at? The chances are getting better and better that one will do something in this country all the time.
Tell her to get over it and quit complaining and bite the bullet or you're going to hate her for *guilting* you into doing something you don't want to do - stop riding or only riding like a little kid...around the block so long as mommy can see you.
#62
01-20-2015, 10:58 AM
Stiggy, I may be wrong here but am under the impression you have always pampered her, taken care of ever aspect of life in your house hold and been the final decision maker.
When one does this it creates an insecurity issue within their other's self, creating a lack of self dependence. Not being able to deal with life on their own.
Their mate FREAKS OUT thinking what will happen if their mate is no longer around to think for them and get things done.
If this is indeed the case, you have created an issue whether intentional or not, which will require professional counseling.
Nobody knows better than yourself but it definitely sounds like you have your hands full.
Best wishes with this issue.
When one does this it creates an insecurity issue within their other's self, creating a lack of self dependence. Not being able to deal with life on their own.
Their mate FREAKS OUT thinking what will happen if their mate is no longer around to think for them and get things done.
If this is indeed the case, you have created an issue whether intentional or not, which will require professional counseling.
Nobody knows better than yourself but it definitely sounds like you have your hands full.
Best wishes with this issue.
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captbob (12-02-2016)
#64
11-29-2016, 06:58 PM
Seasoned HDF Member
#65
11-29-2016, 09:22 PM
From a wife's perspective.....My DH had a serious wreck last January...broken back, brain bleed, all ribs broken more than once. It was bad. I knew he was going to get back on a bike and totally understood why but that didn't keep me from seeing his dead, crumpled body in my sleep! I never want to get THAT phone call again!
His wreck happened in work traffic on his way home. At the time, he was working so much that riding to work was sometimes his only chance to ride. That's also some of the most dangerous times to ride, everyone is tired and anxious to get home, or pissed off because of the traffic. Mornings are no better. It's dark, it's hard to see the road, people aren't fully awake yet and definitely not looking for bikes. The thought of him riding during this time scared me to death!
So we compromised, he doesn't ride back and forth to work unless it's outside 'work traffic' times. As a rider myself, I understand the need to ride and the dangers we all take and accept them. But as a wife I still fear for him every time he leaves the house! It's gotten better over the past year but still there.
You said yourself alot of your riding is commuting. Find out if there's any particular time she worries more than others, some activity that worries her more than others. Maybe ya'll can come to a similar compromise to ours. But whatever you do, please don't just blow her off. Rational or not, the fears she has are very real to her.
His wreck happened in work traffic on his way home. At the time, he was working so much that riding to work was sometimes his only chance to ride. That's also some of the most dangerous times to ride, everyone is tired and anxious to get home, or pissed off because of the traffic. Mornings are no better. It's dark, it's hard to see the road, people aren't fully awake yet and definitely not looking for bikes. The thought of him riding during this time scared me to death!
So we compromised, he doesn't ride back and forth to work unless it's outside 'work traffic' times. As a rider myself, I understand the need to ride and the dangers we all take and accept them. But as a wife I still fear for him every time he leaves the house! It's gotten better over the past year but still there.
You said yourself alot of your riding is commuting. Find out if there's any particular time she worries more than others, some activity that worries her more than others. Maybe ya'll can come to a similar compromise to ours. But whatever you do, please don't just blow her off. Rational or not, the fears she has are very real to her.
#66
11-29-2016, 09:33 PM
Big Kahuna HDF Member
#67
11-30-2016, 01:15 AM
Elite HDF Member
#68
11-30-2016, 06:40 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
#69
11-30-2016, 07:06 AM
Tourer
My wife used to cry when I went out riding. I upgraded my life insurance to $1million and now the wife bought me a really cool looking novelty helmet and kids have a six pack of beer waiting for me before every ride and they cheer me out of the driveway. For some reason they don't seem quite as happy when I return home from rides but who can figure that bunch out.
#70
11-30-2016, 11:09 AM
Seasoned HDF Member
My wife used to cry when I went out riding. I upgraded my life insurance to $1million and now the wife bought me a really cool looking novelty helmet and kids have a six pack of beer waiting for me before every ride and they cheer me out of the driveway. For some reason they don't seem quite as happy when I return home from rides but who can figure that bunch out.
