That bike shop I owned for 7 years was approached by a local manufacturer of deer whistles to ask our guys to run them for a year to see in we noticed any difference vs not running them. I rode through the Cuyahoga Valley Nat'l Recreation Area everyday back then, a park so infested with deer that they have professionals cull 500 or 600 so every couple of years to keep the herd from starving (and defoliating all the foliage.)

To a rider, we all concluded that deer whistles, electronic or otherwise, made little (if any,) difference. (I haven't hit a deer on the bike yet btw here in NC. During the rut season, I found a 20 mph side road to get me over to the State Rt. 10 extra minutes well spent.)

 

I would still buy the bike. I would simply tell her as much and then tell her what I was doing to ease her fears. Again, no sense going against your nature.

On the frequency of crashes thing - when you live in deer country, you get it. I hit 3 deer one winter. There was absolutely no avoiding it in the dark. One minute you're just driving along - the next you see a big eye ball reflecting off your front headlight a foot away and you drive away with $5000 in damage.

It was for that reason that I stopped riding at night.

On the commuting thing - more drivers on the road and frequency of opportunity makes for higher than normal risk. When Cheryl is driving I get to look around at our fellow motorists. I would say maybe 10% have their head in the game. The rest are texting, talking, eating, sleeping, combing hair, applying make up, shaving, getting a bj, etc. It really is frightening.

 

First of all, I agree with Dee that your wife's fears are very real to her, and you should respect them.

However, it's not if, it's when. We are all going to die sometime. I thought, really thought, my husband would not have survived his cancer. It was already Stage IV-B when it was diagnosed and even though it's the only "curable" cancer, it was late in the game, he was self-destructive and out-of-shape, and I really didn't think he would make it. He did. This year is 6-years in remission. We were crushed financially, but it's okay.

I no longer worry about whether either of us will die riding motorcycles, flying airplanes or riding my horse "like a wild *****." (My friend's quote about how I ride--not disparaging Native American Indians at all--in fact honoring their horsemanship.) I don't think my husband worries about me either. We plan for the worst, wear the appropriate gear, and just enjoy each time we get to get out and play.

Maybe commute in your truck 3 days a week and ride 2 days? I don't know the answer, but you cannot live your life in fear, or you won't have a life worth living.

P.S. Thank you for all your posts! I'm an avid fan.

 

I also think Nevada is giving you some great advice. I started riding dirt bikes in '69 and was on the streets (legally) in '75. I no longer ride at night unless it's absolutely necessary. Honestly, I don't even drive at night if I can get out of it. Hell, my eyes don't automatically get better in a cage.

We all know that most accidents occur while commuting and I think it's not only because it adds "x" amount of miles to our logs, but because of the familiarity. Same route, same times of day, every day, etc. We tend to go on "autopilot" which is bad enough in a cage and exponentially more dangerous on a bike. Factor in that during commuting hours nearly every cage around you is also on autopilot and it's really a scary thought.

I feel for you, man, I really do. I hope you and the wife can find some middle ground that works for the both of you.

 

Supercharge your life insurance...

 

"You've played Russian roulette five times and you're still here to tell the story, so why shouldn't you continue?"

 

Another female perspective here.

When I met my guy, he was a biker. At the time, I'd never been on the back of a bike, much less ridden my own, and had NO idea what that meant beyond that he wore a lot of leather and owned a motorcycle. I very quickly realized that this was a core part of who he was and that I needed to embrace that, or move on.

Clearly, I embraced it to the point I'm a rider now as well!

I agree that your wife's fears are real, but it really sounds like she's being manipulative here as well. Why only bring it up when you're telling her about the bike purchase? If she "cries every time you ride" then that means you're ALREADY RIDING, so what about getting the new bike makes this suddenly so much more dangerous?

My guy and I both ride and we ride somewhere were MOOSE can suddenly be in front of you. MOOSE, not deer! We worry about each other, but at a certain point we both had to face those fears that something might happen or will happen. We both talked about it and worked through it together until we each felt that we were accepting the risks. I'd agree that it sounds like your wife is still working through her feelings about your last accident, but I think sitting down and talking about it rather than behaving in a way that is downright passive-aggressive is a better way to handle it.

Like others have said, there may be compromises you can make, like not riding in the dark where deer will be around, but ultimately, it sounds like she married a biker and accepted her own risks in doing so and one of the risks in loving a biker is knowing you very well might one day get that call.

But...to me at least...the ride through life with one is more than worth that risk.

Good luck to you both!

 

Very, very perceptive.

 

You're OBVIOUSLY a ninja. Ninjas don't answer to anyone. This IS a problem though.

Other than that, I have nothing.....

Happy Motoring!

 

There are a lot more cars on the road these days, and the drivers are preoccupied with other things when they should be concentrating on driving. Also take into account the people who are on "medication". There is a lot going into the equation when assessing the odds. I wish you luck in your situation, I know you will still ride, we all will, just try and assess the risk, take into account busy roads, rush hour etc. Its all you can do really and the same risk is there whether you are in a car or on a motorcycle. Good luck, and ride on.