Stiggy....You are a good member here and i gotta give you credit for comming to HDF for advice.It seems like alot of good info has been givin. Personally i dont like to give advice unless i feel like ive walked in your shoes-and i havent so i wont...
Life is for living...Try to live it to your fullest.................o~`o...............

 

Just tell her that applies to everyone, rider or not. None of us get out of here alive.

 

I would work towards compromise. Asking you to be something your not isn't any better than asking her to stop worrying. There has to be a middle ground.

Riding is a calculated risk. I've been riding all my life too, and I have the scars and broken bones to prove it. In that time I have learned to minimize risk. The 1st, and foremost part of that is not riding at night in rural areas. Too much risk. The second thing is I do not commute. Odds are, you'll have a wreck eventually. As we know, we don't have the luxury of a fender bender usually. The third thing is protective gear. I minor wipe out can alter your life if you didn't dress for the fall.

Not preaching - just offering advice. I vote compromise.

 

Agree with the above compromise suggestions.
Ask if this will help ease her fears.
A little humor helps ease the tension.

 

Stiggy,

Nevada is giving you some excellent advice. Mitigating the risk in your motorcycle riding life will increase your chances of living to be an old man. If you sit down with your wife and explain what you're willing to do to mitigate that risk, that should help calm her down a bit. If you're not willing to compromise with her, your relationship will suffer. In that case, I hope you have a decent life insurance policy.

 

Thanks to All,

These are some of the best, most well thought out responses that I can remember reading here on the forums. (This is HD Forums right?)
Excellent advice indeed...

She went to work today so I puttered around the house and tinkered a little on the Road Glide (but just a little, wasn't in the mood.) But I've been thinking.

I'm thinking that maybe my compromise here is the commuting, of course. Living in the woods, every accident but the one on the Interstate a dozen years ago happened at 5:30 a.m. in the morning. And its still pretty dark here in NC at 5:30 even on June 21st, the longest day of the year. I knew my risks, and accepted them. But now that I know (!) (funny how we're the last to know sometimes,) that she's been hiding her fear of a repeat of last February's accident so well, she'll hopefully appreciate that I'll be battling the deer and errant pick up trucks in a 4600 lb Explorer, at least for the time being.

And I'll hold on the new ride purchase and ride what I've got for awhile, since I'm offering to forgo a little over 300 miles a week that I've been currently putting on them.

Hey, its a start.....Thanks again Guys (& Ladies.)

 

Hold on now...buying the new bike IS part of your risk mitigation plan. New bike = anti-lock Brembo brakes + all around new technology, which means a safer ride for you. That should be an easy sell to the wife vs you riding an older bike with old technology and so-so brakes. Hey, it's worth a try.

 

That cracked me up!

(Maybe even she'll suggest it because I'm being so reasonable...maybe.)

 

Anyone who has had a relationship with a woman has had the “Honey we need to talk” talk. First one pre marriage and the reason why a lot of us got married, the second is the reason a lot of us got divorced.
I can’t give any advice on either one of these, except we have a tendency not to talk before we have the talk, that is what gets us into trouble.
The advice that I will give on your “we need to talk” talk is listen to her and do not argue. She is not asking you to give it up because she knows how important it is to you, and like you said you were riding before she came along.
It is “Who you are” and that is part of why she loves you, and by now we know not to ask our spouses to change.
I had the talk about a year ago, I hit a deer two years ago. Our compromise was that I would not take any long trips alone. ( I was two thousand miles away from home solo, not hurt bad, rode home.)
She is obviously concerned, and as we get older this is part of the fear of dying or have our spouse die and leave us alone. (I prefer the first)
Don’t argue listen to her and try to reassure that you do not want to die anymore than she wants to be left alone;-)

 

Well,dude...........You're married. But you still have a right to your OWN life. And if riding is an integral part of that,then you need to ride. Drama and guilt go just so far,before they usually morph into resentments that are the coup de gras for a relationship. Been single,by choice,for the last 23 years,and every time I hear what you're hearing from a girlfriend,they become an ex-girlfriend. Whatever middle ground you can find,between you,needs to be found soon. But the drama has got to go.