Much appreciation for all the comments. You've all given me some ideas for things I can test and hopefully get some more clarity on all this.

Did I mention how much I don't like electrical stuff?

 

Someone disassembled a HD regulator once. I saw a JPG of it here and was shocked by the ancient technology used. I doubt it changed since the cone motor came out, and at that time was based on 20 year old circuits. Anyway, the HD electrical system is different than an automotive alternator with an field coil that needs a battery. We have (stock) just a single coil with magnets running around it, and the regulator does actually dump all excess power to ground as a means of "regulating." Really silly, but that's how it is. Now, it needs a load or else everything is running to ground through the regulator, and I don't recall the circuit but it could very well need a battery hooked up too. I'm pretty sure there's something somewhere about "don't run it with the regulator feed disconnected..."

So, do like I said with the battery (part of the sticky, actually) and let's see if the regulator is shot or not.

 

I wish I had an oscilloscope.

 

Ducati's, Beemers, Aprilia's and a load of other brands do it the same way. Its silly indeed, but its cheap also

 

Well, that turned out to be nothing.

For no good reason, I hadn't bothered hooking up the headlight before. And then for no good reason, that was the first thing I did when I got home.

And just like that, everything is working. Perfectly.

I can only speculate that the VR needs some minimum load to function properly.

PS: Another crap audio vid :
https://youtu.be/UXkfv3-3xLE

 

It should always be that easy. (I hate wiring also)

 

To make electricity (alternating current anyway) you need three things:

1. conductors
2. a magnetic field
3. movement

The stator/rotor combo makes 30ish volts AC when the motor is spinning. That's regardless of what the battery or regulator is doing. The regulator (also rectifier) rectifies the AC voltage to DC, and the regulator keeps it from going over the low 14's.

Your bike should never need the battery after you let go of the start button. If your electrical loads are greater than the stator output, you'll drain your battery because the electrical loads will source their extra current from the battery.

Make sense? Seriously, just replace the regulator and wire it normally. Jimmyin' capacitors into the system will only complicate things.