I think you it it squarely with that statement.
I absolutely Love riding my Dyna SG.
That should be evident by the fact that its not two years old yet and has more than 30K miles on it.
I ride for enjoyment only. I don't have to commute to work and I do have other vehicles at my disposal.
Anything that detracts from my hedonistic pursuit while riding I regard as being in need of correction.
There is actually very little that I have needed to change from stock on my bike.
A good seat and comfortable handlebars are a must for any bike. The chances you'll get a generic fit are pretty slim.

A little more on this; I rode yesterday with a a few guys and one of them was riding a '08 ElectraGlide. He was telling me he experiences the same problem on it. So this problem isn't limited to the Dyna line. Of course I recommended that he look into the chassis stabilizer as an inexpensive cure to the problem.
TrueTrack makes one for the EG i'm pretty sure.

 

I've ridden the Hertidge, Road Kings and own a Dyna. The heavier bikes are more confortable on the highways, but the Dyna is an all around bike and can be customized like no other harley. I have ridden 400 miles in a day on my FXD, but I did stop every hour to water down. I like the vibration of the motor at low speeds - it keeps reminder that I'm on a bike. Very little vibration a highway speeds, but the 21" wheel withg a 90 does not track like the 16" with a 130. Try to arrange a test ride with a bro.

 

I am 6"2" and around 240, I agree that forward controls would be a good decision in your purchase. Almost all the HD shops now have a Fit/accesories person, whom can add specific piece to make the purchase your own, whether is handlebars, forward controls seat, performance options etc. I have almost 8K on my bike in a years time. The Dyna is one of the most easy to option and versatile bikes to own. Always see about a test ride and try several, if the shop you visit won't allow the test ride, seek another shop.