try a Pigeon!!! on my previous Honda CBR1000

 

I went to a bike rally in East Germany a couple of years ago. It was a very hot day and one of the organisers was riding around the site wearing a pair of loose fitting shorts.

A wasp flew up the inside leg of his shorts and stung him on the ball bag. He leapt from his bike and knelt on the ground clutching his crotch, moaning in agony. His knackers were glowing bright red, like a pair of brake lights and had swelled up to the size of two tennis ***** before the ambulance got there. It makes my eyes water just thinking about it. I saw him the next year in Holland and he told me he'd had a phobia about wearing shorts ever since that fateful day. He wouldn't even wear them on the beach. Oh! the joys of motorcycling.

 

Some years back while riding with my daughter in the country, I had a bumbler make it over the winshield, and went right in my helmet. I didn't get stung, but I think I broke the record for stopping distance. (mabe two inches) Poor kid had no idea why her head got planted in my back.
Another time,while riding home from work, I scooped up another that was sucked over the top of the windshield. This one got me good, right above the eye. I didn't see it coming, and I thought I was hit by a stone or a BB. My eye swelled up pretty quick. And oh, as I stood by the side of the road, it was quite apparent that I was hurt (stumbling around with my hand over my eye) and not one car stopped to see if I was OK. I drove home with 2D vision.
Now, this one isn't a bug er bee event, but while riding to work in the late fall, (still dark) I had two deer run out of a field. We are used to this here in North CentralIllinois, so luckily I had good brakes. I missed them by a matter of feet. They're SO pretty UP CLOSE!

BTW, jefx - I see you live in Northern IL also. Shoot me a PM when you get a chance. Perhaps we can meet up sometime during the riding season.

Jack

 

Hey tomato, I got shot in the jugguler by a paintball!! That sucked b@lls! I also shot my buddy point blank in the thigh!! How you wonder?? Well, my marker at the time had an electronic trigger, and safety, well I thought it was on, and I took the barrel plug out. My buddy was sitting next to me, and like a douche I decided to pull the triggerand THWACK! got him right in the thigh!! He started screaming then suddenly stopped and said it didn't hurt as bad as he was expecting!? Dude, he had a bruise that was about 6" around!!

I got a Jeep story, I was stationed in Italy and a pheasant walked out in front of me, and THUD, all I saw in my rear view mirror was a cloud of feathers.... whoops! Now that I think about it, I hit a pidgeon a week later w/ my side view mirror!? Stupid pidgeons!! They should go back to Venice, dumb things!

 

Mine had nothing to do with riding. I was washing the windows and a bee flew up my nose and stung me. What pain.

 

Best was when the mother-in-law insisted on going for a ride when my bike was new. She wouldn't wear the wifes helmet. Took her on a short spin up the interstate an exit and back. Getting off the exit she took a june bug off the cheek. Face was swollen for 2 days. Me and the wife laughed all the way home.Still laughing as I type!!

 

Was riding along a nice quiet country road one morning..taking in the serenity...and notice a big old Monark butterfly gracefully making his way across a field and towards the road. I was impressed with it's natural beauty and the way the bright yellows and black contrasted with the lush counrtyside...it was beautiful... masterpiece of living art and I felt privileged to have witnessed this natural wonder.........then the fuggin ugly, clumsy,non manueverin big bastid slammed into the left side of my face. I had wings and guts and goo all over and stuck in between my glasses and nose. I hate nature.

 

Too many to remember,but I do wear a bucket sometimes.Anybody ever sneezed with a full face on?How about the fog on the shield when its raining,if you can see at all.Tried Rain-x,works ok in the rain.Ever stop at the gas station,only to wash the face shield with your head still in it,then leave.I have,damn love bugs.

 

THis thread is good readin'!

Seems like Illinois takes the award for the most incidents. I remember 1 Cicada season when I was about 4 or 5 years old- circa 1974. Everything in town was crawling. You literally couldn't even see the sidewalks or streets. Didn't ride back then, however. Only a Green Machine...

ANother IL story. Rolling from ROckford to Chicago on I90, and I see some moron up ahead in a small pickup with 5-6 mattresses loaded in the back. Sure enough, I get within about 200 yards and the top one flys out like a friggin' glider - headed straight for me. Doing 70 MPH, so not much chance for evasive maneuvers...I swerved left and missed the damn thing by about a foot. That sucked, but it was sure an adrenaline rush. I caught up to the beeaatch and let him know what a useless peuke he was.

 

I wear my full face quite a bit - on long rides. Pro Grip makes an awesome stick on insert that really works. No fog. I got the tinted one as well. Enough to run without shades during the day, but also clear enough for night...